A Chance for More
by lanky.wolf
Summary: "I want something more." When Harvey doesn't stop her, Donna not only walks out of his office but out of his life. Since then, Harvey has brought Pearson Specter Litt back to glory, and Donna has made a name for herself in Broadway. Three years later, they meet again under unexpected circumstances.
1. The Final Straw

**STORY: A CHANCE FOR MORE**

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Summary: "I want something more." When Harvey doesn't stop her, Donna not only walks out of his office but out of his life. Since then, Harvey has brought Pearson Specter Litt back to glory, and Donna has made a name for herself in Broadway. Three years later, they meet again under unexpected circumstances.

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 **PROLOGUE: THE FINAL STRAW**

3 years ago

* * *

 **HARVEY SPECTER**

"I don't want the money."

"Donna…"

"I want something more. And I've never said that out loud, but I can't pretend that's not true anymore."

"What do you mean ' _more'_?"

She looked so forlorn. Harvey knew his cold demeanor was hurting her. _Again_. But what was he supposed to do? With Jessica leaving, the firm's future was shaky as hell. Louis was probably out there spurning out dramatic disasters he had to fix. And of course, there was Mike's career. Harvey needed to make sure it would be a success; after what he put Mike through, he owed the kid that much.

Everyone was always asking him for ' _more'_. Even Donna. But honestly, if _anyone_ deserved ' _more'_ from him, _anyone_ was Donna. She had always been a constant in his life –even through all the mucks he made, Donna never gave up on him. When it came down to it, she always had his back just as he always had hers. But what she was asking for was different. She was asking for something _impossible_. Something he could not give.

"I don't know. I guess I'm going to have to figure that out," Donna said and looked away. She turned and excused herself. Harvey let her leave because he was too much of a coward to find out what they would talk about. He had too many things going on his life and whatever hiccups he had with Donna would have to wait. She would understand.

And _this_ was what they did. They fought. They made up. They went back to becoming the formidable Harvey-Donna duo renowned across _the firm_. _The industry._ What they shared between them would survive _this -_ just as it did for so many years. So, he'd let her walk away.

Harvey poured himself a drink and gazed into the night. His name was on the wall. He had a law firm to lead. He was where he wanted to be. Then, why was it that he felt _so damned lonely_?

 _Feelings don't matter,_ Harvey thought. He convinced himself that everything would work itself out. He resolutely pushed away his deepest fears - that this time, Donna wasn't coming back. Perhaps, this time, he'd _granted_ her enough reasons to give up on him.

The next day, his deepest fears were realized. Donna resigned from Pearson Specter Litt. She left the firm. She left Harvey. And without saying a word to him, Donna walked out of his life. _All because he couldn't give her 'more'._

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 **Thank you for reading.**

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 ***Courtesy Matters:** Just borrowing the characters for a bit. Don't own any of them - because if I did, I'd form an indie band them and go on a world tour with them. Albeit imaginary, would you like to join us? We're still looking for a bassist.


	2. To Where You are

**TO WHERE YOU ARE**

3 years later | Present Day

* * *

 **HARVEY SPECTER**

As the best closer in the city, Harvey Specter didn't have to do things he didn't want to. He'd earned the right with his hard work, experience, and status. His law firm was flourishing. He was one of the most sought-after lawyers and bachelors in the city. He was _Harvey Specter_ , and he _didn't do_ a lot of things.

For the past three years, he _didn't do_ Broadway. He _didn't do_ the bland act of sit-and-watch-someone-I-want-to-forget shine gloriously on stage. He _didn't do_ feeling exposed because he was reputed to be emotionally unavailable; after all, feelings played no part in winning cases. For three years, he did none of those things. Tonight, however, everything had changed.

Earlier, he'd donned a suit he had not touched for ages. It was something Donna once picked out for him back in the days. He had even chosen her favorite tie to go with it. Ray had dropped him off at the theater, his arrival carefully timed so he could avoid small talks with strangers. And for the past two hours, he'd sat amongst the audience and watched the talented Donna Paulsen delivered her lines to perfection.

Donna was just as beautiful as he remembered. What struck him more, however, was how moving her performance was. When they were still working together, he'd attended a few of her sideshows; but, they were nothing compared to what he was seeing. Harvey hung on to her every word, every turn, and every gesture. She was simply...breathtaking. He felt so proud of her, pleased to see how far she'd come. But it was also painful to watch, knowing he had missed this for the past three years. He had blamed her for not sticking around. For not explaining. But with Donna before him now, Harvey couldn't bring himself to hate her. In fact, seeing her again made him realize how much he'd missed her.

For so long, he fought his own urges to see her. He was stubborn that way, because he was _Harvey Specter_ – a personality he knew was more of a curse than a blessing, especially when it came to Donna.

As he watched her, Harvey recalled how he ended up here. After so many years, how did he get from swearing not to see her again to becoming a Donna Paulsen fan? Why had he caved to do exactly the things he thought he 'wouldn't do'?

* * *

 **#1 FLASHBACK: HER BIG BREAK**

It was the first time he knew that Donna was going to make it in Broadway. On a slow day at the firm, Mike ambled in and showed Harvey a newspaper ad.

"Rachel and I are going to her opening night," Mike said. Harvey knew who ' _her'_ was, even before reading the contents. Schooling his expression into nonchalance, he skimmed the ad.

 **IN DEMISE**

\- A Rick Jensen Production-

starring

Grammy Awards Artist Casey James

and the Broadway Debut of Donna Paulsen

No matter how much he thought he was prepared, reading her name still tugged his heart. Donna had left the firm for over a year. Even her resignation had been submitted to Louis, avoiding Harvey altogether in the process. Though it had stung, deep down, he admitted that he'd preferred it that way. With his bruised ego, he had not wanted to face Donna just _yet_. He'd believed that they would work things out again - the estrangement between them was only a temporary arrangement. But ' _yet'_ had turned from days into weeks and into months. She never did come back, and he never went after her. It had dragged on for so long that he no longer knew how to approach her.

Seeing her featured on a popular production, Harvey was reassured that she was doing well without him. So he wasn't going to do anything about it. They had moved on. It was for the best.

"If you want to go, go," Harvey said and turned his attention back to the e-mail he was drafting. Mike eyed him quietly, probably weighing his next move. Harvey wasn't ignorant to the gossips in the office. They all knew Harvey and Donna had a 'fall out', but none had worked out the details. Everyone was also smart enough to avoid the topic in his presence. Everyone, except Mike. Sometimes, Mike would try his luck, but Harvey also knew the kid meant well.

"If you...ahem…anyway, just let me know if you want to join us," Mike offered and quickly switched into business mode to discuss their latest case.

Even Mike knew not to linger on the issue when Harvey wore that cold distant look.

* * *

 **#2 FLASHBACK: A SHARED MEMORY**

After that first significant Broadway production, Donna had appeared in a few more successful ones. Harvey had been adamant to avoid every single one. It was enough that he learned about Donna's well being from Louis's, Rachel's, and Mike's idle conversations. It was their way of passing her updates to Harvey while he _pretended_ not to listen. He was also grateful they never called him out on his pretense.

When Donna left, his panic attacks began again. Most of them behind closed quarters, and thankfully, when he was alone - except for that one time when Mike was with him after a long stressful day. Harvey had told Mike not to say anything to anyone. He knew the kid wouldn't go around advertising it, but he also knew Mike would do something about it. Shortly after, the whole _let's-share-Donna-news-passively-to-Harvey-who-pretends-he's-not-listening_ started. With each attack, Harvey had also learned to recognize the signs before it happened. Sometimes, he could prevent it. Most of the time, he'd had to hide away and let it run its course. He had jogged more. Visited the boxing ring more. Worked more. He'd done everything he could to find normalcy again. He'd even visited the therapist Dr. Agard recommended after she left the States - a Dr. Sloane, who wouldn't tell Harvey outright what his problem was; 'it's a healing process', the therapist had said. Many long sessions and months passed before the attacks became more infrequent. And eventually, they'd just stopped.

Everything had fallen into place. Knowing that Donna was doing well also gave Harvey slight reprieve for the way he'd left things with her.

It was working. He was moving on _effectively_. He got used to life without Donna. He also attained a new balance where their worlds did not have to collide. And Harvey didn't mess with what was working - what he _thought_ was working up until a few weeks ago.

Harvey was going through old files at his apartment when he saw it – the can opener. _Their can opener._ He'd forgotten about stashing it in the side cabinet. The sight of it set him off into a severe panic attack - one that had him hyperventilating, raggedly fighting for breath. One that had him fearing for his life. Involuntarily, his tears fell freely as his body shook hard. For a long while, he believed he was having a heart attack. He reminded himself it was all in the head and thankfully, it subsided. For hours later, he huddled in the dark corner and suffered the aftershocks of it. He hated feeling weak.

The attack made it apparent that he wasn't healed. Not entirely. He had to get rid of whatever _this_ was because it was ridiculous. It had been years since she left. Why was he still so affected? Was it guilt? Was it stress? What the hell was wrong with him?

Harvey was going to tell Dr. Sloane to shove whatever 'healing process' the therapist was on about up his own ass. Harvey needed answers. He picked up the phone to schedule a visit to Dr. Sloane's office the next day. It was a session that didn't go the way Harvey had planned.

"Harvey. We've tried everything except one. I could give you all the medications in the world, but it's not going to resolve anything. Not if it's something you need closure for," Dr. Sloane explained patiently. Evident in the strain of his posture, Dr. Sloane was aware that he was walking a very thin line with the lawyer. But it was also his job to be honest with his patients, and so, he decided to risk Harvey's temper anyway.

"It's time you go and see Donna."

Harvey tensed at the suggestion. He clenched his jaw so tightly, it hurt. Slowly, he counted silently, trying hard to reign in his anger. But still, Dr. Sloane kept going on and on.

"…you might not even have to talk to her… just need to see her in person… need to know…."

"Shut up," Harvey bit out and closed his eyes. He was _goddamn_ Harvey Specter. No one told him to do anything he didn't want to. He didn't work this hard to start from zero all over again. If he saw Donna and everything went back to square one, he'd have gone through all those troubles for nothing.

Even so, a small part at the back of his mind _did_ want to see her. He pushed that nagging uncertainty away.

Harvey stood up and shouted at Dr. Sloane, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" He buttoned up his suit and strode out the door. He swore he would never visit that _quack_ therapist again. He had helped Harvey _with nothing_.

* * *

 **#3 FLASHBACK: AN INVITATION**

After his failed session with Dr. Sloane. Harvey threw himself back into work, purposefully occupying his mind so he didn't have time to think about Donna. To think about seeing her. Because ever since that idea had been planted in his head, Harvey felt _tempted_. But, he wouldn't allow himself to act on his urges.

As fate would have it, however, sometimes the universe would send a sign. Even for someone who wasn't superstitious, it could be _enough._

Harvey was stepping out of the elevator when a young man in the office lobby called out to him, "Excuse me, sir. I have a delivery for a…Harvey Specter."

The man tipped his cap up to reveal a polite smile. When Harvey looked at him skeptically, the man pointed towards the security guard and quickly added, "Mr. Cooper said I could wait here for you. He told me that you usually leave work around 10.30 P.M. So, I'm guessing you _are_ Mr. Specter?"

Harvey threw a sidelong glance at Mr. Cooper, a guard who took his job seriously. Why, then, would he volunteer personal information so easily like that? This leniency was definitely _odd_. Harvey found himself more amused than annoyed when he assented.

"I'm Harvey."

With a nod, the delivery man handed Harvey an envelope. Once he took it, the other man turned and left. Harvey inquired, "Wait! Who is this from?"

His question went unanswered. Harvey searched the envelope for a clue. His name was printed on the center. On the bottom right corner, there was a logo of a Broadway production company. _Donna's_ Broadway production company.

Harvey hurriedly pocketed the envelope. When he passed Mr. Cooper on the way out, the guard gave him a knowing smile - as if he knew exactly who had sent him the delivery. It seemed, Harvey thought, even security guards had a subscription to Donna-Harvey office gossips.

Inside the car, Ray pleasantly left Harvey to his own thoughts. He was restless, unconsciously thumbing the envelope in his pocket. He wanted to know what it was about, but after that recent panic attack, he wasn't going to scare Ray with a repeat performance. After all, Harvey had a reputation to upkeep. He would have to read whatever Donna had to say... _alone_.

Once home, Harvey stood by the kitchen counter and stared at the envelope between his hands. He was fearless when he delivered closings to the grand jury. He wasn't afraid of high-powered ranks because he was confident he could win it every time. But against a stupid envelope, he was a ' _mushroom',_ as his niece would call him.

 _'Mushrooms are really all mushy inside, although they always seem so proud on the outside,'_ his niece had said.

At that very moment, the fearless Harvey Specter was a ' _mushroom_ '.

After three long years, this was the first time Donna had reached out to him. What did she want? Was she well? Did she need his help? Why would she finally contact him after all this time? And why didn't she come to him herself? His mind was running a thousand miles an hour with questions he wanted answers to. Finally, he took a deep breath and carefully tore the envelope open.

He slid the contents out onto the counter. Or rather, _content_. _Singular_. Because there was only a ticket for a Broadway performance. It was the current one Donna was starring in and dated for this coming Friday. Unbelieving his eyes, he ripped the envelope wide open to see if he had missed anything. He searched for a letter or a note, but there was nothing else inside.

Harvey heaved out a sigh and ran a hand across his hair. He was successful. Pearson Specter Litt was thriving. His mentee, Mike was on the fast track to making partner. His career had never been more celebrated. He could win cases, no matter the odds. And yet, he couldn't fix this mess between him with Donna.

Perhaps it was time he did something about it. He was going to get closure. He was going to find answers, and this ticket Donna had sent him might be the best opening he would ever get from her.

He folded the ticket and slipped it inside his wallet.

"I guess I'll be seeing you soon, Donna."

* * *

 **Thank you for reading.**


	3. Standing Ovations and Muted Screams

**STANDING OVATIONS AND MUTED SCREAMS**

* * *

 **DONNA PAULSEN**

"Donna, it's the last scene. You're on in thirty seconds."

"Thanks, Pete."

Donna walked onto the stage and braced herself. She closed her eyes and paced her breaths to calm down. The last scene was always the hardest because her character's monologue hit too close to heart. The words exposed her so nakedly that it grated. Every night when she had to recite them, Donna emotionally detached herself. It was only _pretend_. It wasn't about _her_. It wasn't about _them_.

Tonight, however, Donna's feelings were uncontrollably intensified because it wasn't just going to be the last scene. Or the show's last performance. It was also going to be her career's last. And for once, she didn't know if she had what it took to _play_ _pretend_.

The curtains were drawn. With eyes wide open, she took a step forward and saw everything in slow motion. Her senses were hyperaware, making her mindful of every move. Every breath. For her last performance, Donna held nothing back.

 _"I made a choice not to stay. I disappeared and watched what we had burnt away._

 _But I am here, now. If you'll have me._

 _We may fight, but we'll always find happiness again. If you'll have me._

 _We may not be perfect, but we'll learn to love each other's flaws. If you'll have me._

 _We may be miserable a lot of days, but we'll make it up with more good ones. If you'll have me._

 _We may lose our way, but I think, even that'll be okay._

 _Because no matter what happens, we'll never have to feel alone again._

 _If you'll have me._

 _If only...you will have me."_

With those last words, Donna bowed to hide the tears she could no longer hold back. The lights went out, leaving a pitch-black stage against the deafening silence - the kind that amplified tragic endings. Very gradually, the music rose in the background, signaling a wrap to the emotional performance.

The audience took awhile to recover from both awe and shock. The first clap sounded, and in an instant, it transformed into an uproar of applause. Once hidden behind the curtains, Donna wiped her tears away and grappled for control. When she entered the backstage, Pete, her fiercely loyal manager and friend, gave her a bear hug.

"Oh my, Donna. I've never seen you do anything like that. That was heartbreaking and _oh-sooooo_ very wonderful," Pete drawled. When he pulled back, he asked with a pout, "Is there really nothing I can say to change your mind?"

Donna chuckled. "Come on, Pete. Don't give me those sad puppy eyes. You know I can hardly deny you anything when you look at me like that."

"That _is_ the whole point of giving you _the look_."

"I've made my decision. But, I am sorry about how it'll affect you. After everything you've done for me..."

"Hush. I'll have none of that, sweetheart. You know I only want what's best for you." Pete pulled Donna in for another quick embrace. "But if it doesn't work out, promise that you'll come and find me. Now, go get yourself ready. The crowd's turnout is _craaaaaazy_ tonight. And that standing ovation? It's been going on for-EVER! And you absolutely deserve it."

As always, Pete's positive flair for drama lightened up Donna's mood. She was definitely going to miss Pete. In a more solemn tone, Donna said, "Thank you...for everything."

Pete sniffed and rolled his eyes. "Not _that_ talk again! You'll not have me bawling like a baby right here!"

Donna nodded, and they shared a silent understanding. For years, Pete had worked hard to help Donna find her footing in the Broadway scene. One audition after another, he never stopped fighting for opportunities on her behalf. Pete had believed in her even before anyone else was willing to. Whatever success she'd reaped, Donna knew she owed it mostly to him.

The curtain call began. One by one, the cast members were invited onto the stage. From the wing, Donna watched them greet the audience and waited for her turn.

"And now, the mastermind behind all of this. Our one and only, Rick Jensen!"

Once more, the audience roared with excitement as the famous producer took center stage. When he flashed them his most winning smile, the cheers grew even louder.

Extraordinarily tall and blonde, Rick was dubbed a legendary success. He started his career as a stage actor. In his early twenties, he'd shot to stardom, popular for his good looks and remarkable voice. A few years later, he turned his forte towards theatrical production and quickly earned his reputation as a _Broadway prodigy_ \- each show more well received than the last. Rick was, undeniably, a genius at what he did. And tonight, the audience made sure he knew it, too.

Rick affably waved the compliments away and addressed the crowd, "Thank you all for coming. Since this is the show's last performance, as a tradition, I will be giving a few closing words before we bring Donna out here.

"I want to share a short story with you all. A few years ago, a woman marched defiantly into my office and demanded that I let her audition...for a part...I've already casted. Yes, you heard it right. _She._ _Demanded_. Can you believe that?"

Rick feigned incredulity, and the audience laughed at his comedic pause.

Donna's lips quirked up, remembering that day too well. Pete had called in a few favors and found a way to sneak Donna in. She had looked the _Broadway prodigy_ in the eye and told him that he would regret it if he didn't offer her the part. She'd been desperate for a chance to prove herself. Even now, she didn't know where she'd summoned all that blind courage from. She was just glad that she hadn't chickened out or fainted.

"That unexpected meeting turned out to be such a gift for me." Rick swiveled slightly to face Donna. He beamed at her when he added, "The day I met Ms. Donna Paulsen was the day my work took on new levels...as you all have witnessed tonight."

Once more, the audience broke into applause.

"Bravo."

"Amazing."

"Donna, we love you!"

Rick jovially seconded their remarks.

"Yes, yes. I know. I love her, too." He observed the crowd and spoke more earnestly, "I say that like I'm joking, but I really _do_ _love_ her. How can I not when she gives my work so much life?"

In a short period of time, Donna had become the go-to lead for most of Rick's shows. The Broadway community had acknowledged that they synced well professionally. Just as DeNiro-Scorsese, Burton-Depp, and Allen-Farrow pairings worked for movies, their Jensen-Paulsen pairing worked for Broadway. The critics even claimed that it had a nice ring to it.

Rick gestured to the side of the stage. "Actually, Donna, why don't you come out here and join us?"

When Donna didn't move, Pete gently nudged her forward.

"Go on. He's calling for you."

Donna walked onto the stage and waved at the cheering crowd. She had never taken a single performance for granted; every one mattered dearly to her. Tonight, the audience's recognition felt even more precious. Donna stopped a few feet from Rick and bowed again.

When the applause finally dwindled, Rick turned to her. There was a hard glint in his eyes as he continued, "Donna, I want to thank you for giving us such a lovely performance. For inspiring us all to never settle for the mediocre. For pushing us to become better everyday. You're talented, beautiful, smart, and funny. And I honestly don't know what I'd do without you."

Donna felt a new wave of emotions threatening to overwhelm her. They'd agreed not to share that it was her last performance. After tonight, she would simply fade out without an official announcement. Even so, Rick had insisted to thank her in his speech. And it hit her once more - that she was about to say goodbye to a life she'd lived and breathed everyday for the past three years.

Donna was still lost in her thoughts when Rick surprised everyone by getting down on one knee. In a daze, she saw rather than heard his words.

"Donna Roberta Paulsen, marry me."

She barely registered the fervent astonishments and gasps around her. Or the encouragements that engulfed her – _'marry him', 'say yes', 'how romantic', 'she's so lucky'_. Her mind went completely blank. She didn't know how long she stood there unmoving. She didn't even know if she was smiling anymore.

"Donna?" Rick urged as he reached for her hand. Everyone - the press, the audience, the cast - was waiting for her to react.

Donna's heart thudded heavily in her chest. She tried to compose herself as best as she could. When she raised her eyes, however, Rick was no longer looking at her. His gaze was directed towards the audience area, now lit up with a warm glow. She followed his line of vision and realized that he wasn't looking at _something_. He was looking at _someone_.

 _Harvey Specter_. Staring intently back at her.

He stood tall in a black three-piece suit, his spiky hair impeccably styled to complete the signature Harvey Specter visage. His lips were pulled back into a thin line; he wore his usual devil-may-care expression - one that showed the world he was beyond bored and definitely, not amused. And with one hand in his pocket, the confident poise rightfully commanded the air around him.

Nothing much had changed. Even after so many years, Harvey was still every bit the impressive lawyer Donna remembered him to be.

 _Except for his eyes_.

They were so hauntingly broken that Donna couldn't bring herself to look away.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading.**


	4. Blindsided

**BLINDSIDED**

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A/N: Two chapters [4 & 5] uploaded this week - hope they won't disappoint. I would like to thank everyone who read, reviewed, followed, and/or favorited the story. Your support truly encourages me to keep writing. Cheers!

* * *

 **HARVEY SPECTER**

 _New plan. Take the night off. – HS_

Harvey sent the text to Ray and briskly took off, walking away from the theater. It didn't matter where he was going. He just needed to get out of there. _That_ was his new plan.

It was almost midnight and the busy city blazed with life. But Harvey scarcely took notice of the noises around him. He was a wreck inside - a tumult of emotions he didn't want to acknowledge. Usually when Harvey needed an outlet, he boxed to vent his frustrations. Sometimes, he drank to forget. Or if Mike knew he needed company, the kid would invite himself over to Harvey's place and brood with him. For less severe moods, Mike would tease him mercilessly with elderly jokes. It was all done in good humor.

Tonight, Harvey found that he couldn't do any of it. It was too late to visit his boxing club. He didn't want to risk another attack with a drink – a high possibility given how wired he was. And he definitely couldn't involve Mike for this. Not when it was about Donna.

The truth was, Harvey didn't have anyone to turn to. Donna had been the only one who ever came remotely close to being meaningfully involved in his life. She'd been there for him when his father died. She'd encouraged him to patch things up with his mother. She'd used to remember all the important dates that should matter to him, and then made sure he did too. For a long time, Donna had been _his person_. How mocking it was that _his person_ , albeit former, was also currently at the center of the mess he couldn't resolve.

He congratulated himself for being such a fool. It wasn't every day that Harvey Specter got blindsided. How had he not heard about Donna and the producer? It would have been _impossible_ to miss when Louis was always going on about the guy's shows. At one point, Louis had even asked if they could take him as their client. Naturally, it had taken one mere look at Harvey's _'don't-you-dare'_ face to completely remove the idea from Louis's head.

Yes, he'd known about their professional collaborations. But, a romantic relationship? Judging from the crowd's strong reactions to the proposal, it seemed no one had known about it, too. Everyone had been taken by surprise.

He never would have shown up. He never would have set himself up like that. If only he had known. Damn it all, he was such a fool.

Harvey shook with rage, unsure if he was angrier with himself or with the woman he thought he knew. Because it was apparent from what happened tonight that he didn't know anything about Donna anymore.

On second thought, he shouldn't be congratulating himself. He should be congratulating Donna.

* * *

 **FLASHBACK: THE PROPOSAL**

' _Donna Roberta Paulsen, marry me.'_

Even before everything began to unravel, Harvey knew it was going to be gut wrenching. But like a moth to a flame, he couldn't make himself turn away.

Had Donna asked him here to see this? But, why? To show him that she'd won? To get back at him? What did she want with him?

If Harvey were a decent man, he would be happy for her. Whether as a friend or an old acquaintance, he should wish her well. She had found success in her career. And now, in her personal life. But instead of joining in the audience's merriments, Harvey felt like he was going to be sick. The thought of Donna spending the rest of her life with another man made it feel _final_. It made her _out of reach_. He couldn't even bring himself to smile for her.

He had to give it to Donna. The whole night had been orchestrated so perfectly. She'd delivered a glorious performance. That ending monologue almost had him reaching out to her. He'd felt her pain and shared her suffering. Harvey had wanted nothing more than to comfort her. But it had all been a set up to lead into this staged proposal. He'd staggered through all those emotions only to watch her become engaged to another man.

Harvey despised himself for being so guileless. What had he expected to accomplish by seeing her again? Did he believe he could _heal_? Instead, he was going to break again. It was _already_ breaking him all over again.

Though Harvey innately knew Donna wasn't cruel, what he was seeing wouldn't let him believe otherwise. His heart pounded frantically in his ears, every nerve strained to the edge. Even so, Harvey doggedly fought to appear indifferent. He took a deep breath and told himself that he didn't have to tolerate this. Not for her. Donna had not seen him, and he was going to leave this place with his pride intact.

Harvey had every intention of walking out. Disregarding his instincts, he stole a glance towards the stage and froze. There she was, looking back at him. Against the bright lights, he couldn't read her. His mind couldn't rationalize a thing as his eyes burned with suppressed hurt and anger. When he moved his gaze lower, the sight of her hand in another man's nearly shattered the last shred of control Harvey had.

Consciously squaring his shoulders, he put on a brave face, devoid of any emotions. Harvey brashly gave Donna a half-nod, turned around, and strode out of the theatre. He never looked back. He didn't dare because his heart, as much as he hated to admit, couldn't bear it a second longer.

* * *

Harvey walked on and on. He walked until his face started to feel numb from the cold wind. He walked until his feet hurt in his dress shoes. He walked until the city lights began to dim. Still, he kept on walking.

He wished he could erase the proposal from his mind. He wished he had stuck to the things he _'didn't do'_ and never saw Donna again. But in spite of whatever he wished, even hours later, the woman continued to dominate his thoughts. When his anger finally gave in to physical exhaustion, Harvey relented and hailed a ride home.

In the backseat of the cab, Harvey loosened his tie and sighed. He looked out the window only to catch his own reflection staring back. _Hello, idiot_ , Harvey silently chided.

No, he couldn't let this _nuisance_ upend his world. Tonight, he would go home, take a hot shower, and have a good night's sleep. Tomorrow, he would start anew. He had dealt with it before. He could deal with it again. Didn't Dr. Sloane say he needed closure? Nothing screamed closure more than Donna marrying another man, right? Donna had obviously moved on. He would too.

Fifteen minutes later, the cab pulled up in front of his place. As soon as Harvey entered the lobby, the receptionist greeted him, "A late night, Mr. Specter? There's a…"

Usually, Harvey would exchange a few pleasant words with the young man. But it was close to 3 A.M. and Harvey was too drained for polite conversations.

"Hey Rob. I'm really beat. Maybe another time?"

The receptionist stopped mid-sentence. He smiled empathetically and went to hold the elevator open. Harvey thanked him before plodding in. When the doors closed, Harvey felt the emotional walls he'd so carefully constructed begin to crumble. The fight was leaving him and pain was sordidly taking its place. He swallowed the lump that lodged in his throat, unwilling to give in. He was failing miserably.

Once Harvey stepped inside his apartment, he stilled. The lights were on. He wondered how he'd forgotten to switch them off. After closing the door, he toed off his shoes. Harvey flinched against the sting, his feet hating him for the punishing walk. He shrugged off his suit jacket and trudged towards his bedroom. He was about to drape the jacket across the couch when he caught a shadow outside the balcony. It was too dark to see, so he moved closer for a better look. When his eyes focused, his breath hitched.

Harvey blinked, uncertain if his mind was imagining it. The scene before him was too familiar; for a second, it even felt like the most natural occurrence. Except it wasn't. He had no right to such longing anymore. The sight of ' _what could have been'_ was exquisite but also, painstakingly sad.

 _So much for closure,_ Harvey thought.

For the second time tonight, Harvey was blindsided again. He was going to suffer the aftermaths. _Again_. And this time, it would be by his own doing because he was about to say and do things he would regret. Even knowing so, he did it anyway.

Harvey opened the balcony door, and in a callous tone that chafed even his own ears, he _greeted_ his guest.

"What the hell are you doing here, Donna?"

* * *

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	5. Already Strangers

**ALREADY STRANGERS**

* * *

A/N: The first part of the chapter partially overlaps with Chapter 4 / Blindsided. It eventually leads up to the moment where Harvey _greets_ Donna and continues from there.

* * *

 **DONNA PAULSEN**

"Hi, I'm here to see Harvey Specter."

"May I please see an ID?" the receptionist requested politely.

The serviced apartment's tight security measures required all their guests to be verified. Donna was familiar with the protocol, except she'd used to be able to come and go freely as Harvey's assistant. Back then, she'd even built a good rapport with the staff. It felt odd to be back again. Especially, when she couldn't see anyone she recognized. Even the receptionist was a new face.

She handed her card to him. As soon as the receptionist read her name, he returned it and stood up.

"My apologies, Ms. Paulsen. I've only started working here two weeks ago. I didn't know it was you." He explained that he'd familiarized himself with the handbook that recorded each tenant's special requests and preferences.

"Your name is on Mr. Specter's _always-approved_ guest list. He also left specific instructions that guests on his lists are to be shown directly into his apartment if he isn't home."

Donna wasn't sure what to do with the information. It prompted so many more questions in her mind. For one, why had Harvey never taken her name off his list even after she left? What if he'd just forgotten and in reality, would not want to see her again? And if he wasn't home, wouldn't she be imposing? Next to her, the receptionist snapped her out of her reverie.

"Please follow me, Ms. Paulsen." He energetically guided Donna into the elevator and pressed Harvey's floor.

"Thank you…," Donna said, realizing only then that she didn't know how to address the young man.

"It's Rob, Ms. Paulsen," he introduced himself with a wide grin.

"Thank you, Rob. And please call me Donna."

"It's nice to meet you, Donna."

When the elevator opened, Rob shuffled ahead to unlock Harvey's door. Once it clicked, he pushed it open and stepped aside to let Donna in.

"Will there be anything else, Ms. Paul...I mean, Donna?"

"No, thank you." Rob nodded and was about to walk away when Donna stopped him. "Wait. Are you sure this is okay? I think I should just wait in the lobby."

"I'm really just following instructions." It was also his way of saying that he would get into trouble by not seeing it through. Donna understood the inconvenience she could cause him, but being here without Harvey's knowledge still didn't feel right. Unexpectedly, the receptionist stepped forward and gave her an understanding smile.

"I usually don't share information like this but you look so worried. Perhaps it would help to know that...you're the _only_ name on Mr. Specter's _always-approved_ guest list. I believe _it will be okay_. Have a good night." With that, he closed the door and left Donna inside Harvey's apartment.

She shouldn't be here. Just because she was _'the only name on Mr. Specter's always-approved guest list,'_ it didn't mean anything. She was no longer Harvey's assistant. Or friend. Or his anyone. She felt like she was trespassing. She'd always thought when they did meet again, the circumstances would be more graceful. Never in any scenario had she imagined that it would involve her waiting inside his apartment. _Uninvited_.

Donna flicked the lights on and walked towards the balcony. Perhaps outside, she would feel less like an intruder.

Sitting on the balcony, she replayed the night's events and envisioned a thousand different outcomes. But of all the thoughts that occupied her mind, none disturbed her more than the look she saw in Harvey's eyes. Even hours later, she still couldn't shake it off. She had to come see him. To talk to him for one last time.

She didn't know how long she sat there. She didn't know he'd come home. She didn't even hear his footsteps nearing. But Donna definitely heard the resentment in his voice when he finally spoke.

"What the hell are you doing here, Donna?"

* * *

No preambles. No hellos. The spiteful words stung more than she thought it could. Donna stood up and turned to face him. If he was surprised to find her here, he didn't show it. In fact, he wasn't showing anything at all. But Donna tried to take solace where she could. At least, he hadn't kicked her out. Perhaps they could manage a mature conversation after all.

Involuntarily, she shivered from the cold, finally feeling the effects of being out too long in the night. Harvey caught it and his face softened briefly. So briefly that Donna wondered if she'd imagined it, because in an instant, he was stoic again.

"Come inside."

Without waiting, Harvey turned around and walked to the kitchen. Donna followed inside and watched him quietly from the couch. Harvey was in a waistcoat, his shirtsleeves rolled up as he worked around the counter. He focused on the task at hand, never once sparing Donna a glance. His gesture was almost thoughtful, but his expression was as cold as ice.

When he came back, Harvey placed her tea on the table and moved to sit by the corner, deliberately putting distance between them. For long moments, they didn't say anything. Already, they felt like a pair of strangers.

Harvey finally broke the silence. "What are you doing here?"

Donna used to be able to read him. She knew him better than anyone else. When Harvey smiled, Donna knew what fascinated him. When he scowled, she knew what bothered him. When he bit the insides of his cheeks, she knew the insults he held back. But the man before her was so impartial that she couldn't read anything. She was far beyond nervous, unsure how to start a conversation with someone so close and yet, so distant.

"That's one of my favorite ties," Donna heard herself say before she could stop. God, had she blurted that out?

"Is it?" He shrugged. As if to make a statement, Harvey tugged the tie off and carelessly tossed it aside. "Once again, what are you doing here, Donna?"

This time, he gave her his practiced lawyer smile. One that he wore for rival attorneys to intimidate them. One that didn't reach his eyes because it was meant to say _'don't waste my time'._ The old confident Donna Paulsen would have wiped that smug off his face. She tried to remember herself. She wasn't here to bring back the past.

"I didn't come here to fight with you," Donna said softly. She hated this version of herself, so meek and insecure. Harvey's patience dissipated before she could say more. There was undeniable bitterness when he finally raised his voice at her.

"What is it? You want my blessing? I guess this is where I say 'Congratulations, Donna. Go and have a happy life'. Is that what you want to hear?"

* * *

 **HARVEY SPECTER**

Words were spilling out of his mouth, and every one pierced right back at him. It was harsh. And also everything he didn't want to say if he could help it. Harvey could see her eyes full of hurt. He'd struck out at her. And worst of it all, he couldn't deny that he hadn't meant it.

"No. It's not why I came," Donna sighed. "I don't want your blessing. I don't want…"

"Then tell me what the _hell_ you want from me," Harvey cut in with annoyance.

Donna should have yelled back at him. Or left him right there. He deserved as much for behaving like a jerk. Instead, the woman just sat there fidgeting with her hands. It was an old habit - a _tell_ that she was anxious. Just like when she'd asked him to help her father. Or when she was facing prison charges.

Donna was visibly fighting back tears. As much as the sight grieved him, he wasn't in the mood for kindness. Not after what she'd put him through. The three years. The performance. The proposal. And now, whatever _this_ was. He relentlessly pushed on.

"You don't get to be the one in pain. You don't get to play the victim." Harvey stood and turned away before saying, "The world can see me as coldblooded. Or even ruthless. But you…you know me better than anyone else. It doesn't mean I don't feel…" He faltered for the rest of the words.

He didn't wear his heart on his sleeves. He didn't talk about feelings because talking about them never changed anything. He'd struggled as much with his therapists. _With everyone,_ who was quick to label him as emotionally unavailable. But damn it, he wasn't a robot, and Donna knew better.

He looked back at her when he gritted out, "So no. You don't get to be the one hurting, Donna. You hear me? You lost that right when you _invited_ me to watch your dramatic proposal. God, you completely _played_ me for a fool."

She sat there motionless, staring at the floor. In a blink, Harvey felt the hope he didn't know he harbored completely smashed into pieces. It was one thing to believe those thoughts in his head. It was utterly heartbreaking to say them and not have them denied.

This whole act of feigning indifference was killing him. He kidded himself when he thought he could be unfeeling with Donna. After so many years, he still cared. He probably always would. In reality, he had no right to feel anything for Donna. Not when she belonged to another man. If he broke again, this time, he would _completely_ shatter. He couldn't deal with this anymore.

Without looking at her, Harvey coldly spat out, "I believe you can show yourself out."

He started for his bedroom, wanting to put everything behind him when suddenly, Donna stopped him in his tracks. Her indignant eyes bore into his as her hands shook. Everything about her radiated wrath.

"It's good to know you're still a _certified ass_ after all these years. But damn you, Harvey. I didn't ' _invite'_ you. I didn't ' _play'_ you for anything."

* * *

 **Too much angst?** **Donna's backstory will be revealed in the next chapter. Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	6. Truths and Reservations

**TRUTHS AND RESERVATIONS**

* * *

 **DONNA PAULSEN**

 _Invited. Played him for a fool._ Donna wasn't flustered by Harvey's erratic emotions. She didn't spend years working for the man without building some sort of tolerance. She was confounded with the accusations. And Donna wasn't one to listen to these slanders and do nothing about it; especially, when they weren't true.

"You better have one hell of an explanation, Harvey." She hadn't been angry before. She was definitely angry now.

"Come on, don't play dumb. It doesn't become you."

"What. The. Hell. Are. You. Talking. About." Donna closed the distance between them. Harvey straightened to his full height, towering over and challenging her right back.

" _You_ had someone deliver the ticket to me. To attend the show you were going to be proposed to…"

When realization dawned on her, she turned away. _The proposal._ _Harvey showing up at the performance._ He believed she'd set it all up. No wonder Harvey was lashing out at her like this. Across Donna, he studied her reactions and came to his own conclusion.

"You _didn't_ do it." It wasn't even a question.

"No." Donna could already guess who was responsible.

"Dick," Harvey hissed, running a hand across his hair in frustration.

"Rick," Donna corrected.

"Doesn't change the fact that he _is_ one."

Harvey avoided her eyes. Instead, he stared across the room, biting the insides of his cheeks.

She had no proof, but it was plausible. After he'd proposed, Rick had looked at Harvey, as if he knew exactly where the lawyer would be standing. God, everything felt like such a mess. Except, it didn't matter anymore. It wasn't why she'd come.

"Harvey, I'm here to say goodbye."

"Of course. You're getting married," Harvey said wearily. "You didn't have to come and tell me in person, but thank you. I'll send you a generous gift - for old time's sake. But I won't be attending your wedding. I'll be busy on… _whatever_ _day_ it will be."

Harvey was no longer angry. And though his tone sounded clipped and despairing, the corners of his lips curved up. The smile he gave her was too easy, too heavy, and... _false_.

"Congratulations, Donna," Harvey said before sidestepping her to walk away.

Donna heaved a long sigh. There were so many misunderstandings between them that she didn't know how to broach the subject properly.

"I'm not getting married. Rick and I...we weren't even together when he proposed."

Harvey spun around, his eyes widened in bewilderment. "I don't understand."

* * *

 **FLASHBACK: THE BREAK UP**

"Rick, we can't go on like this," Donna said to the man seated next to her.

There was always something to disagree on. Something he didn't want her to do. Something he wanted her to change for him. He faulted Donna for having a colossal personality and a temperament he needed to tame. They'd been fighting so much that she'd lost count. It wasn't working anymore. It was never meant to work in the first place.

They'd started out as colleagues. Rick had asked her out intermittently since she'd joined his Broadway Company, but it was only last autumn that Donna had finally agreed. She'd been direct with Rick, demanding that their personal relationship be kept away from the public. He'd affably agreed, and they'd dated for only three months before Donna realized she couldn't take it seriously. Rick had become more vested in the relationship. He'd also turned domineering when he realized Donna wasn't as biddable as he'd liked.

Rick glowered at her. "Is it Harvey?"

 _Harvey_ , again.

Since the beginning, Donna was careful to build her Broadway career on a clean slate. She never shared about her days back at the DA or Pearson Specter Litt. But Harvey's high profile and publicity made it inevitable. Her name would occasionally appear in tabloids or gossip forums. Sometimes, she was the assistant to the successful Harvey Specter. Other times, she was the woman he was rumored to have slept with. Whatever their entanglements, though, Donna's name was easily forgotten. Relative to the bigger personalities Harvey hung out with, she paled in commercial value.

But Rick could never let the matter go. He threw Harvey's name in her face every time they fought. And usually when he did, Donna would respond with a diversion. This time, however, she stunned him by agreeing to his insinuation.

"Yes. It's because of Harvey." Rick's shock and displease was written all over his face. "But not for the reasons you're thinking. Rick, I'm resigning from the Company. I'm quitting Broadway. I'm leaving New York. Alone."

"Why? You're just going to leave all this behind? After everything you've given?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. I need to find myself," Donna explained. "It doesn't matter when I don't even know who I am." _Without Harvey._ She kept those words to herself, but Rick could deduce what she left out.

For over a decade, Harvey had played a central role in her life. She'd defined herself with the man in the equation for so long that she'd forgotten what it meant to be ' _just her'_. She'd put her needs aside to prioritize his. Donna had known as much when she'd left Harvey. For once, she'd finally decided to do something for herself. But she'd also come to find out that without Harvey, she was a restless soul –adrift and lacking. No matter how many people Donna surrounded herself with or how successful her career was, she never felt complete. She never felt whole. Looking back now, Donna realized that Harvey had always been her anchor.

That was why she needed to find herself. Because if she couldn't have a future with Harvey, Donna needed to build one where she could be happy without him. It meant leaving this city that was laced with so many old memories. Leaving a place where Harvey's presence was felt everywhere.

Rick grimaced, but kept his mouth shut. He knew better than to ask for an explanation that Donna would never give. She could be just as stubborn when it came to seeing her decisions through. Finally, he conceded. "I guess this is it, then?"

For hours later, they talked about what it meant for them professionally. About how she would leave after their show's last performance. And with a goodbye hug, they parted amiably.

* * *

"I broke it off awhile back. It wasn't going anywhere. It wasn't even serious to begin with," Donna said.

She'd always known Rick to be proud, but she hadn't known about his appetite for vengeance. She'd been too naïve to believe that such a conceited man would let her go so easily. His invitation to Harvey, his speech, and his grand proposal in front of the audience – it was all designed to retaliate against her.

People liked to describe Harvey as arrogant, vain, or even self-righteous. But he would never do something so hateful. At heart, Harvey was loyal and generous to the people he cared about. Rick's scheme had been distasteful. But worst of it all, Harvey had been sacrificed as collateral damage.

"Why the proposal?"

"Because Rick gets everything he wants. But he never _won_ me. I was never his to _own_. The proposal was his twisted way of _winning_. If I had accepted, I would become the woman who succeeded because of personal favors. If I had rejected, I would become the ungrateful actress who betrayed her mentor. Either way, my career would be over."

Harvey's eyes narrowed and his jaws clenched. Given his protective nature, Harvey was no doubt imagining ways he could beat Rick to a pulp. But that was the last thing Donna needed - more drama with that condescending fake.

"Don't, Harvey. I can't change what happened. And I don't want anymore trouble with him," Donna sighed. She would pay for the scandal soon enough. Despite her manager's assurance that he'd handle it, the spectacle would be all over the press in the morning.

"What happened…after I left?"

"I walked off the stage. I walked away from him. And now, I'm here."

Before Harvey could ask what ' _here'_ entailed, Donna added, "When I left the firm years ago, I didn't go to you. I didn't say goodbye, then. I'm here to say goodbye, now."

"Why? If you're not getting married…"

"I'm leaving New York. In a few days."

Harvey started visibly. "To where?"

Donna shook her head slowly – it wasn't an actual answer, but when Harvey's eyes turned hollow, she knew he understood her meaning. She wasn't going to tell him. She wasn't willing to let herself be swayed. Donna was moving on to a life without Harvey. To define a 'Donna' without him and sharing her plans was simply counterproductive. Instead, she offered Harvey her most sincere farewell.

"Goodbye, Harvey," Donna said, her voice trembling slightly. Words felt inadequate. How was she supposed to part ways with the man who still meant everything, even after three years of absence?

Donna stepped forward and slowly raised her hand. She cupped Harvey's face and lightly grazed her fingers across his cheek. He blinked at the intimate contact but didn't move away. Very gradually, he leaned into her palm, pleading for an explanation.

"Donna…"

She looked at Harvey, _really_ seeing him for the first time tonight. For the first time in three years. She traced a finger along his face, trying to commit everything to memory. His jawline was slightly more apparent, having lost a bit of weight. His short sideburns had a bit of white mixed in it, and his usually impeccable hairstyle was looking mussed. Donna had always preferred his hair this way because it made Harvey more approachable. More boyish. Around his eyes, new lines had appeared over the years. She gently stroke over each one, wishing to soothe his worries. Donna tried her hardest to remember every little detail because after today, she'd never see him again.

Harvey held her gaze, as if considering what he could or could not say. He was hurting, his eyes turning red-rimmed and glassy. Donna didn't realize she was crying herself until Harvey softly brushed tears away from her cheeks. He moved his hand over to cover hers and brought them to his chest.

"Please, Donna," Harvey whispered, clasping their hands tight against him.

Donna almost gave in to his plea. She reminded herself that he was still the same man she left three years ago. The man who said he loved her, and then explained it away like it was child's play – _I said it to make you feel better._ The man who fought for her when she was in trouble, but never truly fought… _for her_. The man who could never put her first, because there was always something else that demanded his attention. When he regretted his words, she would be left picking up the pieces alone. Again. And she wouldn't even be able to blame him, because that was who Harvey was. And she'd _let_ him do that to her. Again.

God, she had to leave before she couldn't do it at all.

"Take care, Harvey." Donna forcefully pulled her hand away from his. Before she could change her mind, she turned and walked away from Harvey Specter. From the love of her life.

Her eyes burned, vision blurring with unshed tears. She willed herself to keep it together. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do. Just as Donna reached for the door, she froze at Harvey's words.

"Back then, you said you wanted something more. Do you still want it, Donna? Do you still want more?"

* * *

 **"Yes, Harvey." Oh, I forget that I'm not Donna. :P Once again, thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and/or supporting the story.**


	7. Save Me From Myself

**SAVE ME FROM MYSELF**

* * *

 **HARVEY SPECTER**

He never wanted to see Donna like that - so wounded, so bleak. And he only had himself to blame for it. He'd viciously wielded words against her when she wasn't even at fault. He was truly the epitome of a pompous moron. What an award-winning performance he'd delivered too; at one point, Harvey even had himself convinced that his slights were justified.

Donna was leaving. This time, it was probably for good. And she wouldn't tell him why or where she was going. While estranged, learning about her in passing had kept him sane. In retrospect, it had also been something he'd unconsciously held on to. Now, the idea of losing touch with Donna completely was almost enough to unhinge him.

When she wrenched her hands from his, bolts of muted fear charred his nerves. The lingering feel of Donna's touch scorched his skin, and his lungs burned with air that seemed too thick. Harvey could barely make out her form through his blurred vision; he only knew she was moving further and further away from him. The caustic moment that changed everything between them was repeating itself - Donna was walking away while he stood there staring like an impassive fool.

If this was life's way of giving him another chance, he was taking it. He couldn't make the same mistake and let her go again. Not when he could still fight for her. But for the life of him, Harvey couldn't string the words together - not fast enough, not meaningful enough. When he finally spoke, his voice came out hoarse and foreign.

"Back then, you said you wanted something more. Do you still want it, Donna? Do you still want more?"

She halted at his words but didn't turn. She hadn't walked out the door either, and Harvey held on to meager hopes as he made his way towards her.

When he took the first step, he immediately recognized the signs. Tingles in his fingers coursed through his arms. His heart hammered so heavily that its uneven vibrations echoed in his ears. He was going to risk his composure and put his embarrassing self on display - a vulnerability he'd so wanted to keep away from everyone. _From Donna._ But this was no place for his ego or pride. He ignored the rough scratch in his throat and determinedly strode on.

"I asked what you meant by _more_. Do you remember?"

He came to a standstill behind Donna. When she felt his presence, she stood a little taller. Still, she wouldn't face him. He imagined Donna entangled in her own internal debate. He could hear the silent question she was asking because he shared the exact same one. _How much could she trust him?_ In all honesty, he was done playing games. But in this severe state, he wouldn't trust himself either.

Harvey inched in as close as he dared. "I lied, Donna. I pretended that I didn't understand. I lied...because I thought I had too much to lose. I thought…"

He faltered for the rest. Harvey wished he could find the right words. He had no plans. No grand designs. Only one thought rang repeatedly - _he needed her._

He was so tired of keeping score. If he could let her read his mind and heart, he would happily offer them on a platter to her. Because, even now, when he wanted to share everything - anything - with her, he was so thoroughly damaged that he _couldn't_ do it. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Damn it, Donna. You know I'm not good at this," Harvey sighed. For all his reputation as a womanizer, he was at lost when it came to the ones who mattered. Correction - _the only one_ who ever truly mattered to him.

Trepidation cut through, lashing him into near frenzy. His throat constricted as air greedily wrestled against racing pulse. Even so, Harvey barreled on. He needed her to hear what he wasn't ready to say three years ago; but time, body, and mind were all mercilessly working against him.

"Will you…give me a chance if…I promise…to try? Give. You. More..."

Because there was nothing he could do to stop from coming undone, Harvey threw all his senses to hell. In one motion, he pulled Donna back and wrapped his arms around her. She felt so fragile against his frame; if he wasn't careful, she would shatter in his grasp. He lowered his head to hers and nuzzled close to her neck. There, Harvey found a trace of comfort - the subtle scent of floral, wood, and sea salt. It was a fragrance he'd come to associate with her. _Only her._ He missed her comfort. He missed everything about Donna.

Harvey opened his mouth, but nothing came. Barely a sound emerged, all his intended words fleeing him. He was on the verge of losing it, the undercurrent fear reigning over his body and his every thought. With one arm on Donna's waist and the other draped across her shoulders, he tightened his hold. What he couldn't say, he poured into the embrace. He prayed it wasn't too late to remind her of what they had. Of what they could be.

In a matter of seconds, everything would fade into nothing. He would be reduced to a shell of a man, and she was going to see him in shambles only to realize that she deserved better. If she was ready to walk away from him before, she most probably wouldn't stay for a man who couldn't even help himself.

* * *

 **DONNA PAULSEN**

She was enfolded in Harvey's warmth, but she sensed everything wrong about it. His arms around her was taut. Trembling, even. She swore she could feel his heart pounding against her skin. When he spoke, each subsequent word also sounded more forced. More breathless. Belatedly, Donna realized he was sporadically gulping for air.

She suddenly whirled around, causing Harvey to awkwardly drop his arms. He briefly lost his footing and collapsed onto the floor. His face was pale and his lips pallid. Donna quickly knelt beside him, feeling afraid for his life. She didn't understand what was happening.

Harvey clumsily sat up and scrambled over to lean against the wall for support. When Donna reached out to help, he physically recoiled and shrunk away from her.

"Harvey?" She was about to call for help when he abruptly intervened.

"No...need," Harvey gasped between breaths. Even in such an agonized state, he tried to appease her. "Not…dying. No…fear… Pan..…".

He couldn't finish the sentence. He didn't need to. _Panic attack._ Donna had heard about them, but she'd never witnessed one herself. She'd thought Harvey no longer suffered from them - even long before she left the firm.

Despite knowing it was not life threatening, Donna couldn't bear watching the toll it was taking on him. She urged, "What can I do? Please let me help."

Harvey waved his hand jerkily, an attempt to dampen her worries. Then he shuttered his eyes, rolled to the side, and covered his face with both hands. He never gave her an answer; evidently, it had become physically impossible. Everything he did looked almost involuntary. Uncontrolled.

Donna slowly lifted his hands from his face and saw the naked terror that loomed his eyes. Through them, she could hear Harvey's silent screams as he battled the torment his mind was relentlessly barring on him. His hands felt cold and clammy as they shook wildly.

"Harvey…," Donna said, her tone laced with uncertainty.

"S' Okay," Harvey barely bit out. It was all he could manage. Everything about him - his clenched fists and his heaving chest - betrayed his assurance. He was anything but okay.

His gaze was shaded with a glint of fear and his focus turned dazed, as if caught between reality and imagination. It wasn't long before he gave into darkness completely. He slammed his eyes shut and shifted away to conceal his anxiety from her.

It was beyond heartbreaking to see Harvey like this. He was always the confident one. The dependable one. The one who people needed and not the other way round. But the man before her, stripped of every façade, was so defenseless and frail. She couldn't reconcile the two personas in her head. How long had Harvey carried this heavy burden himself? How many times had he secretly endured the nightmare in solitude?

Harvey once told her that he would never let anything happen to her. That she would never have to be _'scared-like-that'_ again. That very same man was struggling before her, and she wanted nothing more than to keep him safe. To will his fears away.

Acting on pure instincts, Donna scooted closer to him. She tentatively tried to pull Harvey towards her. When he gave in without restraints, she put her arms around him. Harvey continued to shiver, unaware of his surroundings. He was fighting the horror his mind was conjuring, wholly obscured and disconnected from the present. His own dreadful imagination was his reality, and he suffered it in quiet torment.

Donna gently ran her fingers through his hair, tracing light circles to calm him. To connect with a part of him that might still be aware of her. To let him know he wasn't alone, and that he didn't need to feel so scared.

She tilted his head backwards and pillowed it on her shoulder. When she placed her palm across his chest, this time, there was no mistaking his heart drumming violently. She listened to the sound of his breathing, hoping to uncover what he needed. _Long and slow exhales_ , she told herself. She consciously paced her breaths to let him mimic them.

Next to his ear, she whispered, "You are safe, Harvey. Just breathe with me. You are not alone. You are safe."

 _You are loved -_ these unspoken words became her cruel awakening. She was such a hypocrite. She was no different from Rick, trapping Harvey with her selfish demands. Just because she couldn't live with the old terms they'd danced to. Just because she couldn't accept the way things were, it didn't mean she had the right to ask for more. Not when it changed or suffocated the person she loved. It was a stark realization - to keep Harvey 'safe', she had to set him free. Wasn't that why she'd come in the first place? To say goodbye?

Except, now with Harvey so vulnerable in her arms, she didn't know how she could ever do it. How could she ever let him go?

With Harvey facing away, Donna took reprieve in the fact that he couldn't see her. She finally allowed the tears she'd held back to fall quietly. Again and again, she whispered the only promise she could offer to him, "You are safe, Harvey. You are safe."

* * *

 **Was it what you expected? I hope it wasn't too distressing. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.**


	8. After the Storm

**AFTER THE STORM**

* * *

 **HARVEY SPECTER**

It was finally over. His body felt bruised and battered, drained through and through, as if he'd run a marathon. At least, his breathing had slowed, and his arms were no longer numb. He could feel again. He could _feel_ Donna still holding him.

She'd told him that he was safe, even knowing they were whispered nothings, he'd drawn strength from her remarks. His clouded mind had heard and believed her. However, Harvey was now dashed with a sense of shame. It wasn't the vulnerable exposure that disconcerted him. It was _not knowing_ how it would change the way Donna saw him that was troubling. When he trusted himself to move, Harvey raised his hand to cover hers. He heard her shuffling behind him.

"Donna," he said, his voice was gruff against his dry throat. Harvey was nervous to find out what he would discover in her eyes. He slowly turned to face her and held his breath, his forced smile probably appearing sheepish.

In her eyes, he didn't see disgust or pity. Instead, they were searching his own with worry and understanding. It was also tinged with fear. When his gaze wandered down, it was her tear-stained cheeks that bothered him. She'd been crying. How badly had he scared her?

He frowned, feeling woeful for having caused her nothing but misery all night. He reached out tentatively, hoping to fix matters. But before he touched her, Donna swiveled away. She stood and pulled him up with her.

"I'll get you a glass of water," Donna said. Without waiting, she headed towards the kitchen. Harvey watched, his feet rooted on the spot. She was seemingly distant, and he wasn't sure what to make of it.

He ambled over to the couch, his movements still awkward and his nerves still raw. It was as if someone else had recently taken over his mind and body, and they needed time to reacquaint themselves. He sat down and fixed his gaze out the balcony. It was almost morning; they were both tired to their bones. Yet, there was still so much to talk about, so many problems unresolved.

"Here you go." Donna passed him the glass but didn't sit down. "If you're okay, I should get going."

Harvey instinctively caught her arm with his free hand. Before he could explain himself, Donna chimed in softly, "You need to rest."

"No, I don't. They don't happen in close intervals, so you won't have to worry about carting me off to the ER anytime soon."

Donna visibly flinched, obviously still shaken from what she'd just witnessed. He cursed inwardly. Why would he say such an insensitive thing at a time like this? He placed the glass on the table and tried again. "Can we just talk...for a bit?"

Donna stilled. She wasn't cold or forbidding. She just wasn't certain whether to listen to her head, which no doubt was telling her to flee as far away as she could, or her heart, which Harvey hoped was working more in his favor. She finally sat down next to him. "How long have you had these panic attacks?"

Direct and matter-of-fact, she sounded like the old Donna that kept him in line.

Harvey couldn't decide where to begin. For someone who wasn't good at talking about feelings, he had only one time to _perfect_ it. He willingly set his pride and dignity aside. She'd seen him in his most vulnerable state; there was probably nothing else to lose except his heart.

"It started after you left the firm. When you didn't come back...," Harvey explained. Donna's bit her lips anxiously, already shouldering the blame. He quickly added, "No, Donna. This is not on you. Do you understand?"

Everything about her screamed _I-feel-guilty_ , but she nodded and urged him to continue. "I saw a therapist and tried to get myself together. It eventually phased out, and I thought it was over. But a few weeks ago, I found our can opener." He shrugged, knowing she could surmise the rest.

He'd spoken unemotionally, his story coming off aloof. It was only because he'd carried the burden alone for so long that telling Donna about something he so despised about himself was both a relief and a humiliation.

"I never knew. No one ever told me," Donna sighed. Harvey supposed by _no one_ , she meant Louis, Rachel, and Mike, who she'd remained friends with after their fallout. She looked dismayed, believing that she'd been deliberately kept in the dark.

"That's because no one found out about it. Except for Mike. And for one time when it first started." Harvey shook his head. "I made sure no one knew about all the _other_ times. I don't want people to know. And especially, not you."

Only when the words left his mouth did he realize how they could be misconstrued as pettiness. Thankfully, Donna only reacted with curiosity.

"Why?"

"I fight. And I win. I am not supposed to be weak. I am not supposed to break. It's the only way I know how to make things happen. The only way I can protect the people around me." He took a deep breath before continuing, "So I cannot lose it, Donna. Not when people depend on me. Not when they need me to be _me_. And not with you, because it's the only way I know how..." _To be worthy of you,_ Harvey swallowed the unspoken words.

Honesty was grating when it only made him feel inadequate. Perhaps no one would ever understand how in mere minutes, the incapacity could affect him so immensely. But because he didn't wish to keep anything from Donna anymore, he tried to explain anyway.

"No matter how much I tell myself it's in the mind, it's very _real_ to me. It would be bearable if I could stop it. If I could defy it. But every time it happens, I am completely at its mercy. I am forced to take it. Every time, it breaks me in ways I cannot recover. After a while, I just..." He didn't dare meet her eyes. "I guess being helpless repeatedly can change a person. It makes me..."

Donna surprised him by laying a hand over his. "Harvey, it doesn't make you a lesser man. It just makes you human, but never a lesser man. Not to anyone. And definitely, not to me."

Donna gave his hand a light squeeze, and just as she pulled away, Harvey turned his hand upwards and entwined their fingers together. Her hand was warm against his, her comfort quietly washing his shame away.

He leveled his gaze to hers and said, "I should have stopped you from leaving. When you left, I thought I'd have time to fix things between us. I let you walk out because I'd believed I had too much to lose."

Donna nodded slowly. "I understood. I still do. The firm was going through a change. Jessica was leaving. You had an entire firm to run with Louis, and there was also Mike's career to handle. Everything needed your attention. You had so many things going on for you..."

"No," he interrupted. "When I said 'I had too much to lose', I meant _you_ , Donna. I had _you_ to lose."

It was coming out all wrong. It wasn't about staking his claim. He genuinely regretted what happened years ago.

"I don't...understand," Donna uttered in confusion.

"I didn't want to change what we had. When you asked me for _more_ , I was terrified. Look at my track record, Donna. You know I'm not great at relationships. I was scared that I was going to mess _us_ up. If I could keep things the same, I'd never have to risk anything. Because I wasn't ready to lose you. And then, I went ahead and lost you anyway. How stupid of me..."

Donna looked sullen as she pondered over his words. A brief pause later, she asked, "Do you know why I left, Harvey? I was done being the 'back-up' or the 'sideline' substitute. You'd say or do something to raise my hopes - just like you're doing now. And then the next day, you'd pretend it never happened. It broke my heart. _Every. Single. Time_. I didn't even know who I was to you. I couldn't take it, then. And I can't take this now. So please, Harvey, don't do this to me again."

With that, she tried to pull her hand away, but Harvey tightened his grip. He covered it completely with his other hand. He watched Donna's eyes welled up with new hurtful tears. His bullheadedness had always been a problem. He just didn't know the magnitude of it. Even knowing he didn't deserve her forgiveness, he offered his long overdue apology.

"I'm so sorry, Donna. I couldn't get my shit together. I thought I did. I didn't know the half of it." He tried to steady his trembling voice. "I'm so sorry. _For everything_."

She shook her head, not expecting an apology from a mulish man like him. "There's nothing to apologize for. Believe it or not, I don't even blame you for it. At least, not anymore. Because it's who you are. It's who I lo—." She stopped mid-word. "It's...who you are. And I have to accept that."

There was no doubt she was about to say 'who I love'. Harvey leaned forward, moving closer to her.

"I let you put your life on hold for me. I made demands that suited what I needed. I defined us in a way that I was comfortable with. I never once asked what you wanted. What you needed from me. And when you finally did tell me, I bailed," Harvey said softly. "So yes, there is everything to apologize for."

She tugged her hand away, and this time, he let her. Donna pinched her nose and heaved a long sigh. "It's fine, Harvey. It's in the past."

He didn't know if their fates were sealed. _No, it wasn't fine. Or of the past. Not without trying to salvage it first._ "I meant what I said. If you still want it, I promise to try and will do whatever it takes to make us work."

Her acute gaze bore into his. "Darn it, Harvey. Did you not see what just happened? Just the idea itself scared you so much, it set off your panic attack. I won't trap you like that. I can't do that to you."

Harvey stared at her in disbelief. God, she'd gotten it all wrong. For two people as close as them, they were appallingly _crap_ at communicating. Just tonight alone, they had enough misunderstandings to last a lifetime.

"You think that's what set it off? The first time it happened, it was because you left me to work for Louis. Then, it happened again when you left the firm three years ago. What happened just now, it was because you were leaving me again. Don't you get it? I cannot bear the idea of losing you. It hurts like hell to let you go."

She tilted her head sideways and asked, "What happens tomorrow? Or the week after? What happens when you realize it isn't what you want anymore? Will you explain it away? Pretend it never happened?" She straightened her back before adding, "If we go back to that back-and-forth dance we did before, we'll have nothing left between us. We'll end up hating each other, Harvey. You'll end up hating me."

He'd taken so many moments with her for granted that all she could recall was the pain he'd caused her. He beat himself up mentally and ran a hand down his face wearily. "It's not even possible. I can never hate you. I tried living without you. But, life without you just didn't work. For the past three years, I functioned. But I didn't feel much of anything. I've missed you, Donna."

He wasn't good with words. There was little he could say about love. He'd put away his feelings for so long that it wasn't easy to talk about it. He could only tell her plainly how she mattered to him. What she meant to him.

"You want to know who you are to me? You're the woman who makes everything better for me. You make everything more meaningful. More alive. I only know that I'm happier when you're around. I belong where you are. I told you before that _'I can't be me without you'_. I need you, Donna. And given a choice, I will always choose life 'with you'. Every time. Anytime."

Her eyes softened briefly before looking away. She was gauging how much she could trust him. And he understood her doubts. It took so much more faith and courage to hope again, especially after how boorishly he'd treated her. It was only sensible that she didn't let her guards down.

Harvey braced himself and tried one last time, already feeling like he was fighting a losing battle. No, he was about to lose the entire war.

"I know I don't deserve you. But if there's a possibility I can do for you...what you do for me…if there is something worth saving between us...please stay. Let me prove that I could be better for you. Give us a chance, Donna."

He couldn't prove it without actually showing her. He'd thrown words at her too easily and taken them back like it was nothing. What Donna didn't know was things were different now. He was different. Pain and loss changed people. Losing her had changed him. If he was granted another chance, he swore he would do everything he could to make _them_ work.

As much as he needed Donna in his life, Harvey knew he'd lost his right to make any demands. He wasn't allowed to define them any longer. It was her turn to choose. He could only wish with everything he had that she would choose him. _Choose them._

* * *

 **DONNA PAULSEN**

It wasn't like Harvey to tell her how he felt. To bare himself so open and be completely honest like this. He'd revealed the burdens he'd carried inside all these years. His face had a telling look, and she didn't doubt that he was sharing everything - well, as best as a man like Harvey could. He seemed _changed._ Instead of demanding, Harvey was asking. Instead of making excuses, Harvey was withholding nothing. Her instincts told her it was going to be different this time. But still, she couldn't shake off the niggling murmur inside her head that there was a possibility that he could still regret his words again. Because _words_ from Harvey had always been fickle - a bait he easily took back when it was convenient for him.

As if he could read her line of thoughts, he asked, "There's nothing I can say that will mean anything, is there?" His voice broke, hopelessness heavily laced in between. He turned away, his sad eyes anchored onto the floor. For long moments, they didn't say anything.

When he faced her again, he gave her a sad smile. "I shouldn't do this to you. Please do what is right for you, Donna. That's what matters most. Do what makes you happy. I mean it."

If there was any uncertainty whether Harvey had grown emotionally, she'd gotten her answer then. He was willing to put her needs before his own. This time, there was no anger, hidden agenda, or manipulation. She knew him well enough to know there were no quiet expectations - only simple and plain encouragement. Even if it meant paying for it with his own happiness, pride, and heart, he was ready to accept defeat for her sake. It was _his_ way of fighting for her.

For the first time in a very long while, she believed that maybe, they could find a way to be happy together.

She teased half-heartedly, "The Harvey Specter I know never just gives up."

"The Harvey Specter you knew was obviously an ass."

The exchange was the closest thing to their 'old bantering'. Except, back then, Harvey would never have admitted to being anything short of stellar.

Another thought entered her mind. "So I'm the only name on your 'always-approved' guest list?"

When Harvey's eyes rounded, she added, "Don't blame the receptionist. He told me because I looked like I was about to faint when he showed me into your apartment."

He nodded, looking almost shy. "After you resigned, I'd hoped you would come back. Maybe after regaining your senses, you would come and remind me of what a jerk I'd been. But knowing you, if I left you waiting in the lobby for too long, you could change your mind and leave. I would never see you, then."

It was his attempt to lighten up the mood, but the air between them was still thick and tense. He finally sighed, "Donna, there was never a doubt that I want you in my life. _Only you._ But, this isn't about me anymore."

She believed him, feeling optimistic about their future. But there was something else she needed to do before anything could transpire between them. A heartbeat later, she said, "I am leaving in a few days."

Harvey nodded, evidently holding back a frown. "Okay."

When he made a move to stand, Donna said, "I just need some time."

She still had to uncover what it meant to be _just her_. Only then, could she truly move on; with or without Harvey in her life, she needed to learn who she was. It would be healthier for the both of _them - if_ ever, there was a _them_.

"I will come back, Harvey."

His eyes lit up with new conviction. "What are you saying?"

"I guess I am asking you to trust me," Donna said. "Give me some time. When I do come back, and if you still feel the same…"

"You know I lo—," Harvey began but was abruptly cut off.

"Don't, Harvey!" She was not going to hang onto his quick confessions only to find him with a change of heart again. "Don't say anything you might regret."

Harvey's jaw set as he considered her words. He finally nodded in consent, understanding that it was what she needed. Instead, he said, "You still won't tell me why or where you're going?"

Donna stood and extended a hand. "It's easier this way. Shake on it?"

If the circumstances weren't so grave, her gesture would have seemed comical. It was such a formal leave, albeit temporary, after everything they'd been through. It was the only thing she could think of to smooth things over.

Harvey shoved to his feet and bewilderedly stared at her hand - probably also finding her actions completely absurd. All of a sudden, he snatched her wrist and raised it to his sight. His thumb hovered over the red scratches that marred her skin. "Did he do this to you?"

 _Great_. Overprotective Harvey was back in full form.

"When I saw you leave, I couldn't just let you walk away. Rick grabbed for my arm to stop me. It was an accident," Donna explained.

Harvey scowled, unmistakably contemplating murderous scenarios against the theatrical producer.

"I'm serious. Let it go, Harvey. I don't wish that man physical harm. There's no point in making trouble anymore. Besides, I don't want you arrested. I'm not interested in visiting you in prison. Inmate's woman just doesn't cut it for me," she joked.

As soon as the last words were spoken, Donna slammed her eyes shut in embarrassment. Her face flushed with a rush of warmth. God, how she wished she could take it back; her attempt to dull his anger had definitely gone astray. When she opened one eye to look at him, Harvey was beaming back at her. Well, at least his anger was gone. That had to count for something, right?

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear you properly. _Inmate's what_?" he asked, too amused for his own good.

She nervously explained it away. "I was speaking hypothetically. And you should get your hearing checked, _old man_."

Harvey's smile didn't falter. With her wrist still in his hand, Harvey tugged her towards him. He wrapped his arms around her, giving her a goodbye hug instead of settling for that feeble handshake she'd offered. Next to her ear, he whispered, "I wish I could make you happy, Donna. But I don't know how."

She brushed his cheek with a light kiss before stepping away from his embrace. It was meant to convey her faith and trust.

"We'll figure it out together. For now, take good care of yourself, Mr. Harvey Specter." She was going to miss him. But this was for the best; necessary even, if they could ever have a chance make it.

He nodded, smiling sadly. "I'll be waiting, Ms. Donna Paulsen."

* * *

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing. Time for a more positive turn of events in the next chapter.**


	9. What About Today

**WHAT ABOUT TODAY**

Months Later

* * *

 **HARVEY SPECTER**

"Look who just got Litt-Up!"

Louis confidently marched into Harvey's office, an article prominent in his hand. The headlines read "Broadway Prodigy Ashamed, Apologizes to Donna Paulsen".

Following close behind, Mike strutted in with a knowing smirk. "Right...take all the credit, Louis. Need I remind you that _I_ was the one who got him to apologize on national television," Mike said.

Louis snapped back, "Only because _I_ found dirt we could use against him."

Mike retorted, "You are aware that blackmailing is illegal, right? Are you saying you broke the…"

"Who said anything about blackmail? I call this _justice_ for Donna."

Mike seemed to have had his fun and raised his hand up for a celebratory high five. Louis clapped it before saying, "We did good, Mike."

Harvey stifled a smile, reveling at the chemistry between the unlikely duo. They'd both done more than their fair share to help Harvey right matters for Donna. He was earnestly grateful.

The morning after Donna left, the _incident_ rapidly amplified across the media. Most of the press portrayed her as an ungrateful actress, who'd succeeded only because of the opportunities her mentor _and secret lover_ had generously granted - as if her talent and past achievements didn't matter one bit. Donna walking away from the grand proposal was deemed as a form of _betrayal_. True to Donna's predictions, her stage career was in jeopardy.

Since Donna chose to distance herself from the chaos, Harvey decided to take matters into his own hands. He wasn't going to sit idly and watch her reputation fall apart. Donna's name had to be restored, regardless of whether or not she wished to resume the profession. It was the least he could do for her.

Despite being a Saturday _that morning after,_ he'd asked Louis and Mike to meet him at the firm. They'd shown up without question, ready to fight the scandal on Donna's behalf. Though they'd first been surprised that Harvey and Donna were on speaking terms, it wasn't long before Louis worked himself into a wild frenzy. After learning about the distasteful proposal, minus the private details that Harvey had purposefully left out, Louis made it his personal vendetta to bring down ' _that_ _sorry excuse for a human being'_. Mike also volunteered to help. The three of them had since developed and implemented a plan to make the producer's life impossible.

Early on, Harvey had entertained thoughts of beating sense into the undeserving scumbag. _Unfortunately_ , Donna had warned him against violence. Under the insistence of Louis and Mike, he also had to assume a backseat role. The press had always speculated a messy past between Donna and Harvey, and his active participation could do more harm than good. If their plans went awry, the media could easily spin it into a triangle love story gone wrong. It would work against Harvey's intention to recover Donna's professional credibility. So without fists or Harvey's direct involvement, it had taken much longer to rectify the situation. This way, however, Harvey got to keep his promise to Donna. He hadn't inflicted _physical_ harm on anyone.

Now across the desk, Louis turned his raised arm towards Harvey for a high five.

"Don't even dream about it," Harvey jested. The idea of high-fiving Louis felt outrageously wrong in every universe imaginable. Instead, Harvey came around to properly express his gratitude. They'd had their share of conflicts, but for Donna, they would always be on the same side. _Hers_.

"Thank you, Louis." Harvey offered his hand, and the other lawyer shook it eagerly.

"It was the right thing to do," Louis said. "Donna deserves better."

They exchanged a nod in silent agreement before Louis proudly walked out, ready to tell the entire firm how he'd _screwed over_ the Broadway prodigy.

Mike stayed behind. When they were finally alone, Harvey gave Mike's shoulder a firm pat.

"You too, Mike."

He shrugged, letting Harvey know it hadn't been a chore. The junior partner asked, "Still no word from her?"

Mike always knew more than Harvey let on. Every now and then, he'd check in to make sure Harvey was doing okay... _without Donna._ Mike's thoughtfulness was welcomed, though Harvey never said much either. Just because Harvey missed her terribly, it didn't mean he had to explicitly share his sentiments.

"Nope." Harvey shook his head and walked back to his chair.

Donna had been gone for over four months. All the while, she'd not contacted anyone. Not him. Not even Mike, Louis, or Rachel. He could hardly blame her when she'd clearly asked for time away. Harvey just didn't realize when she said _'away',_ she meant _'completely cut off from the world'_. It wasn't so much the absence that unnerved him. It was the unawareness that did, because he hadn't the slightest clue if she was safe and sound.

Harvey picked up a file from his desk, intending to distract himself with work. Suddenly, a heavy object landed next to his arm, the loud thud taking him by surprise.

"What the...," he blurted. His eyes wandered to see what Mike had dropped onto the desk. When his vision focused, he froze. It was a sleek black can opener - one that he'd never seen before. A small piece of paper was tied to it, and Harvey flipped the note over to find a handwritten message.

 _'Time for a new ritual, perhaps?'_

Across Harvey, Mike beamed at him with a full teeth grin. The boyish expression the junior partner wore was... _too innocent_.

Harvey asked skeptically, "Where is she?"

"Your place."

Harvey stood impatiently, ready to get to her. "Damn it, Mike. Couldn't you have started our conversation with this?"

"And miss that _yearning_ look on your face? I think not," Mike teased, before waving towards the pile of documents on Harvey's desk. "Go. I'll take care of this."

"Thank you, Mike. I owe you one."

Without waiting for a response, Harvey snatched the can opener and rushed out the door.

* * *

Standing in front of his apartment, Harvey willed himself to calm down. He took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Donna?"

It went unanswered, his voice sharply echoing off the walls. For a moment, he wondered if Mike had played a prank on him. But Harvey had recognized the handwriting on the note. It was unmistakably hers.

When he neared the kitchen counter, he finally saw Donna. She stood on the balcony, looking out into the city. Donna was so engrossed in the view that she hadn't noticed him. Harvey took the opportunity to study her side profile. He recalled the last time Donna was in that same exact place. It had been an emotional night for the both of them. He'd been angry and woeful then. He was nervous but also optimistic now.

Harvey opened the door to the balcony, careful not to alarm her. When she felt his presence, Donna swiveled around.

"Months of nothing and then, this?" He asked, holding up the can opener. "And why did I _have_ to hear it from Mike?"

On the way home, he'd compiled a list of things that he wanted to lecture Donna on. One, for completely dropping off the face of the earth. Two, for not letting him know how she was doing; even a postcard, an email, or a short text message would have sufficed. Although technically point two was the same as point one, Harvey had been so worried for her that he felt Donna's disappearance warranted repeating. Three, for letting Mike know before him that she'd come back. Four… _right, there wasn't a four_. Frankly, it was a very pathetic list. He'd just needed something to occupy his mind on his way to see her.

From where she stood, Donna smiled at him. In an instant, Harvey's less-than-put-together list completely paled in importance. She was here, and that was all he cared about. Harvey smiled back and greeted pleasantly, "Hello, Donna. How have you been?"

In an oversized white shirt and a pair of gray jeans, casual Donna was simply stunning. The sunlight set her long red hair ablaze, giving her an overall healthy, radiant, and serene glow. It seemed that her time away had been beneficial. She walked into the apartment before answering him.

"Hi. I've... _sort of_ missed you, Harvey."

Harvey quirked a brow at her reply. "I've _sort of_ missed you, too." _Everyday, really._

For long moments, they held each other's gaze but didn't say anything. It was almost awkward, both uncertain how to carry on the conversation or what to do next. Then again, Harvey thought he would happily power through a thousand more awkward moments if they were spent with Donna.

She finally broke the thick silence. "About Rick...I just want to say thank you. You didn't have to waste your time or risk the firm like that."

So she'd heard about it - probably from Mike. And already, she was concerned with how it could affect him or the firm. If only she knew how little of a _rat's posterior_ he gave to both fronts. Donna meant more to him than anything else in life, and if he could, he would do everything in his power to right her world.

"It was no trouble. Louis and Mike were more than eager to help," Harvey explained. He gestured for Donna to take a seat before joining her on the couch. "Besides, I'm not the city's best closer for nothing."

Donna shook her head in playful disbelief and chuckled softly. "Well, it's nice to see that your ' _confidence'_ is still perfectly intact."

Harvey shrugged at that. There was a different air about her. She seemed more positive and relaxed. He couldn't say the same about himself though. Despite making that _confident_ pronouncement about being the city's best closer, Harvey was feeling unbelievably restless inside. Yes, she'd sent a message via Mike with the can opener, but it could mean... _anything._ He wasn't sure what it signified.

For months, he'd imagined how their reunion would play out. Whatever his mind had concocted was nothing compared to the reality of seeing her again. How was he supposed to broach their most pressing subject?

The last time Donna was here, they'd talk about pain, hurt, and bailing on promises. But before their estrangement, they'd _had_ so much more than that. They used to share secret jokes and exchange knowing smiles that only the two of them understood. Whether on or off work, they used to tease each other to no ends. Their relationship might not have been a romantic one - although it was a thin line that they'd pranced to - but they did _have_ something great together.

Harvey needed Donna to remember that he could offer her more than just heartbreak. He was determined to make her laugh as often as he could. And he'd intended to start from the very moment they met again. For that purpose, he'd come up with a silly but honest recital. Now with Donna as his sole audience, however, Harvey found he couldn't remember most of the words. There was only one thing left to do; he would have to wing it.

Harvey belatedly realized he was still holding the can opener and gently placed it on the table. He ran a palm down his tie to settle his nerves as he spoke, "This is one of the cheesiest things I've ever done in my life, and I'm going to deny it if anyone asks. But hear me out, Donna." Never once in his life had he ever dreamed of doing something like this. For anyone. But for Donna, he was willing to step out of his comfort zone. If he could make her smile, even for a little, it would be worth it.

"Uh, exactly what are you doing?" she asked incredulously.

"You are about to witness the dark and brooding Harvey Specter's debut performance," he answered with dramatic flair.

Donna's brow knitted together in confusion, a hint of amusement played on her lips. She was staring at him like he'd lost his mind. But she didn't stop him either, because she was too fascinated to see what he was up to. Knowing full well that he was about to embarrass himself, Harvey resolutely pushed his pride aside. Harvey schooled his expression into what he believed was supposed to appear _dark_ and _brooding_. He didn't need a mirror to know that it was coming off more like _confused_ and _deluded_.

Harvey cleared his throat, squared his shoulders a little straighter, and put on a deep acting voice. After a a deep breath, he began to improvise the lines from her last show.

" _We may be miserable, but we'll have good days. If you'll have me._

 _We may fight, hopefully over trivial things like whether unicorns are real, but we'll find happiness again. If you'll have me._

 _We may not be perfect, although I will try my best to not screw things up too badly, we'll learn to love each other's flaw. If you'll have me._

 _We may lose our way, but I don't think I should lose cases – you know...because that hurts my reputation and honestly, it also bruises my ego. Let's scrap that one._

 _We can annoy Louis together and make Mike fetch your skinny vanilla latte with whipped cream every morning..."_

Even delivered so ungracefully, Donna recognized the lines from her former character's monologue. She dissolved into fits and commented, "That's horrible, Harvey. You have it all wrong. And it was _definitely_ not _dark_ and _brooding_."

Harvey joined in the laughter before justifying himself.

"Cut me a break. I don't have Mike's awesome eidetic memory. And no, you're not allowed to let him know I used the word ' _awesome'_ to describe him. Without you to keep him in line at work, his head has grown so big these days. It's a miracle he doesn't just topple over in meetings. Anyway, where was I?"

Harvey continued in a more serious tone, "Jokes aside, we'll have each other. No matter what, we won't ever have to feel alone again. If you'll have me, Donna. _If you'll have me."_

He bowed, signaling an end to his ridiculous recital.

"I messed up before. Am I still not doing it right?" Harvey asked, knowing that she would understand his double meaning. Then, he remembered there was something else he should have said months ago. "That night at the show…you were amazing on stage, Donna. I was so in awe that I couldn't take my eyes away. Not even for a moment. I was so proud of you. I _am_ still so proud of you."

No matter what the world thought of her, she deserved to hear how great she was. At his words, Donna's eyes gleamed with a sheen of unshed tears. Harvey fumbled forward and hastily tried to fix the situation.

"Wait, no...no. Donna, I didn't say all that to make you cry. It was meant to be a compliment. A genuine one." He studied her intently before adding, "You know most people find the idea of _compliments_ a positive thing. But if you hate them so much, you could've just told me. I would have offered you my brand of _sarcasm_ instead. A former assistant of mine once assured me that I am quite good at it."

Harvey tried his best to casually rally her tears away. Donna tittered softly. She shook her head before giving him a watery smile. She wasn't sad or distressed. _Just overwhelmed. The nice kind._ Harvey realized then that she had doubted herself, given how everything went south after she'd left. No one had reassured her all this while, and Harvey felt his heart ached for her. He wished he could have protected her from all the criticisms she'd had to fend off alone. He took her hand in his, feeling wholly aware of her warmth.

"I love you, Donna."

Plain and candid words - but also the most significant ones. Her expression softened, but she made no move to respond. If only she could trust that he wasn't going to take it back ever again. But there was also no point in explaining himself when his unreliable track record worked against his cause. Instead, Harvey decided to enliven the mood with a different approach. He offered, "If I ever give you the hot and cold treatment, you have my permission to call me out on my _bullshit_. _Carte blanche_. Just try not to punch me in the face, okay? After all, I do make a living with my handsomeness, and a black eye doesn't seem very attractive these days. Besides, I don't think my clients _dig_ that look on me."

Donna laughed out loud at the unexpected quip. "And here I was...thinking you're not just a _pretty face._ "

"Oh, will you look at that? So you think I'm pretty?" Harvey waggled his brows, a smug smile on his face. Despite appearances though, he was still anxious as hell. Donna had not given him anything substantial to work with. He squeezed her hand before asking more directly, "Will you stay, then? Let me prove to you that I'm not just pretty face...among other things."

Since he'd met her, Harvey found he was doing most of the talking for them. Even so, he couldn't stop himself. "Donna, I'm not saying forever..." _Yet -_ he didn't need to scare her away. "We can take it slow. Or fast, if that's what you prefer. Whatever it is, I'll make it work. I know my word doesn't mean much right now, but I'm asking you to trust me anyway. I've wasted three years of our lives. I don't intend to waste more. I'm only asking for a…"

Donna pulled her hand away from his hold, causing Harvey to halt mid-sentence. Then, she surprised him by doing the simplest but most meaningful thing. Donna leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Harvey's heart swelled with new hope. He slowly reached out to cup her face, his thumbs barely grazing her cheeks. His eyes held hers, serious and searching.

Harvey asked and held his breath in anticipation, "Is that a yes? Does it mean you're coming back to me?"

Instead of answering, Donna inched closer and this time, she kissed him on the corner of his mouth. Harvey turned to capture her lips with his, and when they came together, he remembered every reason they were right for each other. _In every way._ Harvey pulled her across his lap and felt her lips smiling against his at the bold move. When he was about to deepen the kiss, Donna leaned back.

He glowered with a mock pout. "You are aware that by the laws of Specter Residence, a kiss is as good as a binding contract that you've agreed to give me a chance?"

She considered his words for a moment before nodding slowly. Then, she pressed her hand against his chest.

"Wait."

Her actions were saying yes, but her words were saying otherwise. He asked nervously, "Am I taking things too fast?"

"It's not that." She shook her head. "I just realized that...I haven't said what I came to say."

Harvey swallowed hard, waiting for her next words. Donna traced her fingers across his brows to soothe his anxieties away.

"Harvey...I never stopped loving you."

With her heartfelt confession, Donna's eyes brimmed with new tears. And because Harvey knew they were happy ones, it incited his own.

"I just want to make you happy. That's really all I know," Harvey said softly.

"We'll figure it out together," Donna reassured, repeating her words from that emotional night.

Reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, he took his time cherishing the moment. Donna smiled, undoubtedly sharing his thoughts.

 _It had taken them so long, but they were finally here. Together._

He slid his arms around her shoulders to draw her closer. It was so easy to lose himself in her love and quiet strength. Harvey brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss before trailing little light ones towards her lips. Donna responded instantly, twining her fingers in his hair to pull him impossibly nearer. Her lips opened to his, and Harvey happily reciprocated, letting her take the lead.

 _This_ was what they were meant for. They were never meant to say goodbye.

When they finally came up for air, Harvey touched his forehead to hers.

"Donna. About our new ritual with the can opener…"

* * *

 **Hmmm, yes. About** _ **that new ritual**_ **with the can opener...may you let your imaginations run wild.**


	10. New Favorite Things

**EPILOGUE: NEW FAVORITE THINGS**

* * *

 **DONNA PAULSEN**

The cast, the stage, the music, the audience - Donna was surrounded by everything she was passionate about. It felt _good..._ no, it felt _incredible_ to be back. Donna's current production had been running for months. Tonight was their last performance, and she was feeling extra proud of the tight-knitted group of cast and crew members she'd recently come to know and admire. In only a matter of months, they had become her new work family.

Soon after Rick's public apology, another theater company had approached Donna with an original lead role. On top of that, they'd also offered her an advisory position in their artistic direction team. She'd been reluctant at first. For one, Donna hadn't been sure how well her stage career would fare after _the_ _unfortunate incident._ Moreover, she'd considered joining Pearson Specter Litt, wishing to work with old acquaintances again. Though she missed acting, Donna also missed the familiar comfort of close friends.

As much as Harvey wanted to work with Donna again, he'd encouraged her to give stage acting another try. If she changed her mind some time in the future, Harvey could always offer her a position at the firm anyway. There was no point in turning down such an exciting opportunity when she could have both.

In retrospect, Donna was glad she'd taken Harvey's advice. This was the best comeback she could have wished for. Everyday, she got to wake up and do what truly inspired her. Some days, the surreality of it made her wonder if she was dreaming it or living it. Donna was also well aware that her progressing career was only a part of the happiness equation. Mostly, life was unbelievably wonderful because of Harvey - her best friend, confidante, and lover.

She'd recognized a change in him. He smiled more easily and didn't take himself too seriously. And though he still wore that devil-may-care attitude for the world, he was transparent with her - as much as a man like Harvey could ever be anyway. When she was stressed, he had a way to put her at ease or cheer her up. She'd always known that Harvey had a clever sense of humor, but she never knew the extent of it. She was discovering a whole new depth to the playful and sweet version of him. Donna couldn't remember a time in life that she'd laughed as much as now.

For months, Harvey had also been the consistent and reliable force in her life. He'd proven to her time and time again that he could be what she needed. Though he sometimes showed his affections through gestures that could only be described as _unique,_ she no longer doubted his intentions. She no longer thought of his words as sweet nothings or empty promises. Donna knew implicitly that he could be depended on. That he could be trusted with her heart.

They'd naturally encountered awkward moments in the beginning; out of habit, they still held back their feelings, forgetting it wasn't necessary anymore. More often than not, it was Harvey who reminded them that they were no longer in a platonic relationship. And when no one was looking, he usually did it with a kiss - an addictive one, too.

These days, they bantered like old friends, loved like a passionate couple, and finished each other's thoughts like lifelong partners. Donna never knew it was possible, but in their short time together, she had fallen even deeper for Harvey.

She was pulled away from her reverie when her manager joined her backstage.

"Donna, the curtain call starts in ten."

"Thanks, Pete."

Pete had literally screamed with joy when Donna told him she was coming back to his talent agency. Because it was a tradition that he accompanied her on last shows, Pete had shown up tonight looking extra _glamorous_. Pete reasoned that this was his way of celebrating their _reunion closing night;_ hence, he'd gone all out with his attire, his glittery suit outshining every single cast member.

As usual, his dramatic flair never failed to amuse Donna. With a smile, she said, "Pete, I can't believe we did it again."

" _You_ did it again, sweetheart. I got the easy part of the job. Actually, that _eye candy_ of yours also deserves the credit. After all, the good man did restore your name."

When Donna first introduced Harvey to Pete, the two of them immediately struck an amiable cord. Harvey favored Pete's gallant personality, trusting the manager to fight for Donna's best interests. Pete's overzealous energy, however, sometimes rendered Harvey speechless. Donna enjoyed watching their encounters because it usually involved Harvey turning shy and self-conscious mid-conversation. Who knew Harvey would be such an easy mark for Pete's teasing? Pretty-boy-lawyer never stood a chance up when he was up against extravagant-fashionista-manager. Even Harvey readily surrendered to that fact. Still, Pete was very highly regarded in his books.

"Eye candy?" Donna asked. "I can see that you and Harvey are really getting along."

"My dear, Donna. Haven't you heard? We already _are_ an item. Got a sassy thing going on behind your back and all," Pete chaffed, his face feigning seriousness.

"Harvey's all yours, Pete. But be warned, he can get overly protective at times," Donna offered, finally giving into laughter.

"I was kidding! As much as I adore the man, have you seen the way he looks at you? He's only got eyes for you, sweetie. I don't even _exist_ when you're around." Pete giggled and waved her away. "Off you go, Donna. The crowd is waiting for you."

* * *

Donna took her position by the wing for the curtain call. When she was invited onto the stage, the audience roared once more in applause. Moments like these reminded Donna that the stage community still appreciated her professionally. The scandal had faded, and she was seen for who she truly was again. For that, she was grateful.

Her gaze roamed across the theater, thanking everyone who had come to support her. When her eyes flickered towards the front right aisle, _an unexpected fan_ captured her attention completely.

Harvey had shared earlier in the week that he'd be stuck at a client meeting tonight. Yet, here he was, flashing her a sunny smile. He was also wearing her favorite three-piece suit and tie, looking just like the night she'd first met him after their fallout. Except now, she didn't see any hurt in his eyes. There was only pride and love. _For her_.

Harvey tipped his head and pointed towards the backstage, letting her know he would be waiting at their usual spot. She suddenly remembered herself and nodded in acknowledgment before facing the grand audience again.

And with a final bow with the entire cast, their last show came to an official end.

* * *

"You made it."

"You believed that I'd miss your closing night? How little you must think of me," Harvey said dryly. He was right. Minus the three estranged years, he'd never missed any of her closing nights while she was working for him. A brief pause later, he added more pleasantly, "I must confess that I only caught the last fifteen minutes. The meeting took forever to end. Still, you were amazing."

He looked around to make sure that they were alone before leaning in to give Donna a soft kiss on her lips. Then, he surprised Donna by holding up a cupcake.

"For you," he offered with a wink.

Apart from their new can opener ritual, _this_ was also their recent _thing_.

Early on, Harvey would bring her flowers for every performance he attended. After awhile, Donna had asked him to stop because it was unnecessary to get her anything.

Since then, instead of getting her _nothing_ , her request had spurred Harvey on a creative exploration of sorts. He'd occasionally shown up bearing _very_ random gifts, as if to see how far he could amuse her. Harvey had started off with the basics - a box of chocolate, a teddy bear, a music box. Then, he'd embarked on a phase of _customized_ gifts - a pair of quirky non-matching socks, a t-shirt that says 'The Genius of (arrow pointing up) is Everyday', and a pet rock that he'd impulsively named Kirby - which Mike had later happily adopted and turned it into his office mascot.

When Donna had challenged Harvey to up his game and bring live ones, he'd countered that he'd bring her a lion if he could find a way to get it pass security. She'd meant it as a joke, of course. But the man had actually surprised her one night with a Husky he'd borrowed from a friend. Donna had no idea how such a big dog could have escaped the staff's notice. Harvey never gave his secret away, but she had a hunch that Pete had been his partner in crime.

The stunt turned out to be one of his best ones. The Husky's name was _Aslan_. Harvey insisted that since the dog was named after a lion from a fictional story, albeit imaginary and mythical, he technically did live up to his promise. She'd fallen in love with the handsome dog instantly. It was also coincidentally appropriate that Harvey had brought along a Husky of all breeds. Hidden behind that cold distant appearance was a very fun-loving and loyal dog, just like the man himself.

Donna never thought he could ever surpass his Husky stunt. She was wrong. Tonight, Harvey's _random gift_ was a cupcake. But it wasn't just _any_ cupcake. It was her _most favorite one._ Since she quit the DA office over a decade ago, she'd never had them anymore. And so, Donna stood there staring at the delicacy like a dumbstruck statue. At her non-existent reaction, Harvey finally took Donna's hand and placed the cupcake on her palm.

"Bite-Sized Vanilla Toffee Crunch from _Cakewalkers,_ " Harvey recited. He'd gotten every detail correct. She couldn't believe Harvey took notice of such insignificant things.

"You remembered...," Donna mindlessly murmured her _very_ delayed response. She realized it was such an obvious and useless thing to say. _Of course, he remembered. Why else would he have bought it?_

"Are you kidding me? How could I ever forget when you used to preach to me _everyday_ why these should be crowned the…"

"…royalty of cupcakes," Donna finished the sentence for them.

"Exactly," Harvey confirmed. When Donna made a move to share it with him, he shook his head. "It's all yours, _Diva_. Royalty for royalty."

She beamed at him and bit into cupcake, savoring the nostalgic taste that she'd missed.

"Thank you, Harvey. This was the perfect gift for closing night."

Harvey half-heartedly shrugged at her remarks. It was his habit to downplay his thoughtfulness and reduce it to _nothing_. The truth was, the things he carefully planned for her were never just _nothing._ He was just too ' _Harvey'_ to admit it.

Before she could say anything more, Pete and a few people joined them. He quickly briefed, "There you are, Donna. The editors have a few questions for you."

Donna recalled only then that she'd agreed to a give a short interview regarding her next play. Harvey stealthily moved away, letting the press give all their attention to her. He stood to the side to hide himself away from the limelight.

Harvey had been clear upfront that it was up to Donna to make _them_ public or not. It wasn't because he was afraid of the commitment, but he didn't want their personal lives to overshadow her career. They'd come to an agreement to keep their relationship private for however long Donna needed. Apart from a few close friends, they'd never made it official.

He seemed contented with the way things were and never made an attempt to define them. Harvey quietly honored her decision; and for the purpose of the press, the public, and general acquaintances, Harvey was her friend.

Donna answered the editors' questions one by one. All the while, she caught glimpses of Pete conversing with Harvey. As usual, Pete was looking very animated while Harvey tried hard to keep his cool. And then suddenly, Donna saw Harvey blushed at something Pete said. And _blushing Harvey_ was very, very _adorable._ She definitely had to save that piece of ' _adorability_ ' to tease him later. Donna hid a smile and addressed the editor's next question.

"Since the next play doesn't start production for three months, what do you plan to do during the break?"

In the spur of the moment, Donna made a decision. They had kept their relationship below the radar long enough. Harvey had given her so much, and he deserved better. She turned to look directly at Harvey, and the editors followed her line of sight. Slowly, Donna walked over to stand beside him.

"If Harvey's up for it, I was hoping we could take a vacation. Nothing fancy. I just want to spend some quiet time together."

Harvey was taken by surprise at her unexpected move. Donna's answer was as good as announcing to the world that they were officially together. He held her gaze, silently asking with his eyes if she was certain. When Donna gave him a firm nod, Harvey stood a little taller. He reached over to take Donna's hand in his before addressing their curious audience. While his next words were meant for the press, he kept his eyes on hers.

"Of course, we _will_ be taking a vacation."

His smile was so earnestly happy that Donna couldn't help but respond in kind. The editors got their message loud and clear. Next to them, Pete stepped aside to let the reporters _ogle_ the new couple for a bit.

"Congratulations to the both of you," one of the editors said.

They snapped a few pictures of the new official couple before Pete interrupted, "That will be all for now." The manager ushered the editors away to give Harvey and Donna some privacy.

When they were alone again, Harvey asked, "Are you sure about this? You didn't have to..."

"I love you, Harvey. And I don't want to keep that to myself anymore."

He brought their joined hands to his lips. Donna understood that it was his way of saying _'I love you, too_ '.

"Let's get out of here. I'm running out of time," Harvey said impatiently.

"Oh, is there somewhere you have to be?"

"Yes. We're going home to celebrate. Also...I suddenly have a vacation to plan for a woman who will be unemployed for three months. Got any ideas to help me out?"

* * *

 **HARVEY SPECTER**

He'd penciled in a long leave with the firm - one that Louis had encouraged him to take. It seemed Louis had always secretly rooted for Harvey and Donna to end up together. He told Louis that he'd return the favor if Louis ever needed one in the future.

As for their _vacation_ , Harvey had presented Donna with options for an extravagant romantic getaway - Paris, Prague, Milan, Maldives, or anywhere else she wanted to go. After careful consideration, however, Donna had surprised him with her choice.

 _'New York City_.' Which meant they wouldn't be going anywhere.

Donna explained that she wanted to create new memories in the city _together_. They'd lived here for a long time, but not as a couple. And for her, it made all the difference.

At first, Harvey was worried that a plain-in-the-city vacation would disappoint her. He realized later that Donna had always preferred simplicity. She'd asked for as much when she told the editors she wanted _'nothing fancy'_. She also seemed to enjoy their more casual dates - especially the spontaneous and we-can-do-whatever-we-feel-like-doing ones.

Honestly, Harvey didn't care where they went or what they did as long as they were together. 'Company over destination' had always been his motto anyway. So apart from the short visit to her hometown and a weekend at the Hamptons, they'd spent their days exploring New York City all over again.

The arrangement had worked out even more perfectly for Harvey. Because when he finally worked up the courage to ask Donna to move in with him, she had agreed.

Today was their seventh day of living together. Like most evenings, they were sitting on the balcony with Donna lazily curling against Harvey.

As they waited for the sun to set, Harvey realized he'd never asked Donna properly about her sabbatical or whatever it was that she'd left to do. Had she been waiting for him to bring up the subject all this time? He had been so focused on moving their relationship forward that he'd completely forgotten about it.

"Donna?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why did you leave? Where did you go?"

His question was met with a long pause. Perhaps she didn't want to talk about.

"Disneyland," Donna finally answered. He knew she was just distracting him with an inane answer. He played along.

"And you didn't bring Mike? He'd be devastated to find out. He loves Disneyland. But if you did, he'd probably make you buy him a Goofy hat and take a photo with him at every ride. Would have loved to see you not _kill_ him by the end of the day."

Donna chuckled lightly before saying, "It really doesn't matter anymore. I'm not going anywhere."

If she didn't want to talk about it, he wouldn't push her. In his arms, she tilted her head up.

"Harvey?"

"Yes?" He leaned down to brush a kiss on her forehead.

"I think...I've found another favorite thing to do with a certain ass."

Harvey mulled over the word ' _another'_. It meant that she had _other_ favorite things she liked to do with him. He wanted to find out what they were. But first, he had another matter to address.

"Ah, yes. Other couples call each other ' _sweetheart'_ , ' _dear'_ , or ' _honey'_. I've been blessed with such a unique name. Even so, please know that I'm not just anyone's _average_ _ass_. I'm _your certified ass_. We asses take our titles very seriously," Harvey said wryly, remembering what she'd called him the night they'd confronted their feelings.

Donna broke into a laugh. "I'm so sorry I called you a _certified ass._ "

"Oh, don't be. It's only the highest ranking of asses. Guaranteed quality and all. I _love_ the name."

Donna could call him a _donkey,_ and he would happily embrace it, too. His response amplified her laughs even more. Harvey winked at Donna before asking, "So...what is this _new_ favorite thing you're talking about?"

"I can do _this_ anytime I want."

Donna cuddled up to him, resting her head between his shoulder and neck. Her breath tickled his skin when she sleepily mumbled, "My anchor." She wrapped her arms more firmly around him and snuggled impossibly closer.

 _'My anchor.'_ Harvey wondered what she meant by it. He'd asked her another day. For now, he relished the feel of her in his arms.

They've known each other for over a decade, but their romantic relationship was still new. Though it was proving to be better than he could ever hope for, Harvey anticipated that they would eventually run into obstacles. It wasn't going to be easy because he had his own issues to work through, and Donna had hers. They were treading into unfamiliar grounds, learning to be with each other all over again. But whatever happened, Harvey would never let her go. She was the love of his life. And as long as Donna was beside him, they would always have a chance for more.

Together, they watched the city tinged with with a warm glow from the setting sun. And with it, Harvey felt his heart also coming alive. He was contented. He was happy. He was loved.

Harvey tightened his embrace, loving her back with everything he could offer.

"Donna, when we're done doing this 'new favorite thing' of yours, what else would you like to do today?"

… _and for the rest of our lives_.

* * *

 **Tying up loose ends and making sure our babies are on their way to happily-ever-after.** **Yes, I realized the chapter was fluffy, but I couldn't help myself. I call it the ' _too-much-angst-in-the-beginning'_ effect.**

 **That's a wrap for A CHANCE FOR MORE. Thank you for encouraging me to keep going with this story. It has been an amazing experience.**


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